Resistance

Chapter 31

I stood on the mountaintop that housed the lab and wished the bitter wind would somehow numb more than just my skin. I'd endured my fair share of pain throughout my life – more than I ever deserved – but nothing compared to this. I wanted to subdue all emotions and feel nothing. The anger that blinded me now, that pushed me forward, only served as something to hide behind. Like always, I was too much of a coward to face my fears. But how could I ever face losing Eren? The one person I would do anything for? If I could exchange my life for his, I would do so without a second thought. Kind hearted, sincere, loyal, and fiercely beautiful, Eren deserved to live.

My alpha, the man who taught me how to accept what I am through patience and understanding, expected me to live on without him. The thought alone made a lump form in my throat.

You forgot to tell me how, Eren. How am I supposed to go on without you when it already feels like I'm breaking?

A flash of movement interrupted my musing. I turned towards it, half expecting it to be Hanji, but I saw nothing in the darkness. Then someone wrapped their hand around mine. Recognizing Eren's touch as though it were my own, I shut my eyes and savored the feel of his skin. His fingertips trailed up my arm, raising goosebumps until they came to rest under my chin. He angled my head back.

Keep your eyes closed. The words were so clear, voice rich and familiar, but I knew he hadn't spoken them aloud. Our bond was strengthening, even when his mind grew more distant.

I nodded in agreement and then he kissed me, the barest brush of his lips against mine. I wanted to stay like this with him, but we didn't have a lot of time to spare. We needed to leave soon.

When the pain becomes too much, he said in a broken voice that pierced my heart, close your eyes like you're doing now and imagine a place where this war never existed, a place where I am right there by your side. Stay there until you feel you're ready to face the world without me. I know you can move passed this. You're strong. You always have been.

I shook my head, confused. "Eren, what are you talking about? We're in this together, until the very end."

I love you, my beautiful omega, and that's why I cannot let you die for me. With this last shred of conscious that I have, I will save you from yourself and fulfill your last wish. I'll kill the people at Shiganshina. I'll stop this war. And I will do it all for you.

"No, don't tell me—You're planning on leaving me here? You can't." It was all clicking into place now. I could feel his intentions through our bond. "Don't do this," I pleaded, but he pulled his hand away and left my skin cold.

Remember what I told you, he said. Imagine a place where I am right there by your side. Silence, then, Goodbye, Levi. I'm so sorry.

"No!" I whirled around, but it was too late. He was nowhere in sight. "Eren! Eren, come back! Don't you dare leave me here like this!" I fell to my knees, hearing a high-pitched ringing in my ears. Sobs racked my body as I stumbled to my feet. "Don't leave me here. Not like this. Please... Come back..."

But he was already gone. He'd left without giving me the chance to say goodbye, and now I would never see him again.

---

Eren

It would be too easy to give into the corruption the serum had caused. If I stopped resisting it, the pain would disappear, and the voice in my head would fall silent, but it's the voice that I clung onto. It was Levi's when he asked me to hold on a little longer; to help him kill the people responsible for this. While I still had the capacity to think for myself, I intended to see this through for him. I would free him of this war. Free him of me. I just needed to withstand the pull to let go of everything that made me who I am. At least until this was over.