Resistance

Chapter 33

7 months later

A thick layer of snow covered the ground as I lumbered out into the backyard with an ax in hand. The forecast called for a blizzard to hit this area tomorrow night. If I wanted to wait it out and not freeze in the process, I needed to gather enough firewood to last me through the week, which meant I had a busy morning ahead of me. That was fine. Keeping myself occupied was one of the only things that helped me feel sane these days. When I had too much time on my hands, thoughts of Eren crowded my mind until I broke down all over again. Seven months had passed since he'd invaded Shiganshina, and not once had I felt his presence in our bond. Not even a flicker of emotion from his end to let me know he was somewhere out there.

     Why couldn't I feel him? My scent gland had healed months ago. Had he really died that day?

     I shoved the thought aside and forced myself to focus on the task at hand. Yesterday I'd stacked logs beside the stump I used as a chopping block. I picked one from the top, balanced it on the stump, and then swung the ax down on it with enough force to split it in two. That was one down, about forty something left to go.

     Once I set a pace, time slipped away. There was nothing but the log, the swing of the ax, and the strain in my arms and back as I chopped log after log. Filling my days with physical tasks like this is what had allowed me to keep on, although it hadn't solved much else. I still couldn't be around people. The others had moved to Stohess after the president declared it a safe zone for our kind, but I never joined them. I wanted to be alone, so a cottage out in the woods sounded more appealing to me. It was far away from any cities. Here, I could try to put myself back together without anyone telling me how to do it.

     I was almost through with chopping wood when the sound of an engine brought me to a pause. I looked up and spotted Hanji's all too familiar red Jeep Cherokee creeping up the snowy path. Leave it to her to visit me a day before a blizzard hit.

     As she pulled up beside me, I leaned the handle of the ax against the stump and peeled off the work gloves I had on. I tossed them onto the stump and rubbed circles into my sore palms.

     "You shouldn't be here," I said as soon as she stepped out of the Jeep.

     "Stop being an ass nut. I brought you supplies! You'll probably be stuck indoors for a week after this blizzard passes through. I wanted to make sure you had enough of everything." She plodded to the back of the Jeep and threw open the backdoor. After she picked up a box she had stashed back there, she came stomping up to me. "Let's go inside for a bit. I promise I won't stay long. Wouldn't want to intrude on your brooding."

     I gestured for her to go ahead. "Fifteen minutes, then I'm sending you on your merry way."

     "Aw, you really want me to get home before this storm comes. Inside that cold exterior is such a gentle heart."

     "Be quiet and go inside. Make sure you take off your boots. I don't want you to track in snow."

     I picked up several logs before I trailed after her. Like I'd asked, she removed her boots and left them in the entryway. I did the same, then we both went into the kitchen, where she set the box down on the dining table.

     "It'll only be a week," I said. "You didn't have to bring me anything."

     Hanji ignored me in favor of opening the flaps of the box. She started to take stuff out, producing boxes of tea, oatmeal, bagels, cream cheese, canned soup, frozen orange juice, and various other things I lost interest in. Once everything was set out on the table, she said, "Voilà. Now you won't go hungry when you're snowed in. You're welcome."