Memphis Summer (ON HOLD)

Runaway Train

"Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile."
                         Runaway Train - Soul Asylum

I sat in the middle of my bed and stared at the now blank walls, remembering how happy I was when I moved out of my mom's house. Memories of Trent and that first year on our own flashed through my mind. One memory flowing into the next and ending at what happened between Memphis and I. Regret followed confusion.

Did I do the right thing? Was quitting really the best idea? Was Memphis going to end up like Trent?

The deluge of thoughts was tampered by my phone ringing on the nightstand. Against my better judgment, I answered the anonymous call.

“A little birdy told me you quit The Creek.” Memphis spoke quietly into the phone, his voice more breath than sound.

Closing my eyes and lying back on my bed, I let out a deep breath through my nose. I didn't want to have this conversation with him. Didn't want to have any conversation with him, honestly. Even though my mom thought becoming friends with him would be a good idea, I couldn't fully convince myself.

"You left me alone this morning, Ellis. I had to find out that you quit from Josh."

There were so many thoughts running through my mind, so many responses I could give, but the only thing that floated to the surface was a surly, "how did you get my number?"

"From the same person that told me you quit," he said with an acidic tone. "You didn't even say goodbye."

I would've had to of been an idiot not to catch the hurt in his voice. It almost made me regret my actions from the morning. Almost. 

"Damn it, does my cousin not understand the word boundaries?" The question wasn't aimed at him, just an outburst of incredulity. From my mom to Memphis, Josh didn't seem to understand that some things were off limits. 

"I'm a little glad that he doesn't," Memphis replied in defense. "I wouldn't have known that you had no plans of coming back."

"You would have noticed my absence," I said dryly. 

If you asked me why I was being such a prick, I couldn't answer. There was something about Memphis, especially after intimacy, that put me on guard.

The statement hung in the air and seemed to silence our conversation. Ages passed as I waited for something to be said. Maybe I was an idiot. Nobody in their right mind would treat someone with such hostility after they had been not only patient, but so understanding with them.

"Is this because of what happened last night?" His voice was a whisper through the phone. Uncertainty lacing through each word he spoke.

I wanted to lie and tell him that I just wasn't cut out for working at a campground, but my mom's words from earlier echoed in my mind. Maybe I should let him in, even just the tiniest bit.

A puff of breath escaped my lips and my head began nodding before I spoke. "Yes and no."

"I figured it played a part," he sighed out. "Look, Ellis, I don't need this job. I can quit tomorrow if working with me is that big of an issue."

"It's not that I have an issue with working with you." I just don't want to face you after spilling my guts, 
I added silently in my head. "I just..."

"Don't trust me," Memphis finished for me.

"No! No, that's not it, Memphis. I do trust you, even thought my head tells me I shouldn't. I do. And it scares the ever loving shit out of me."

Where the hell did that come from? What was I saying?

"Oh really?" I could hear the smile in his voice, the lop-sided grin that slowly formed into a smug smirk. Images of him with sweat sliding down his face and neck, sexy smirk in place as he teased me, flashed through my mind. I had to admit, even if only to myself, that he did have an affect on me. "What are you thinking about, Ellis?"

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I definitely wasn't going to answer his question. "Huh? Why?"

"Well, you made this little whiny moan sound and I was curious to know what you had on your mind."

His voice. Oh god, his voice. It dropped an octave and had this whiskey smoothness to it. That voice was dangerous and made me thankful that there was distance between us. I couldn't have blamed alcohol on what my body wanted to do to his.

I've become a sex-crazed teenager overnight.

"Ellis? You still there?" The sound of shifting filled my ear and I imagined him checking his phone to make sure there was still a signal.

Say something, idiot! my brain shouted at me. "Yeah, I'm here. Look it's late and I know there's still things that you need to be doing."

"Actually, I'm off. The band Walter had lined up for tonight cancelled."

"What time is it, anyways," I wondered out loud, too caught up in remembering what happened the night before to actually turn and look at my clock.

"Just a little past eleven. Are you tired, Ellis," Memphis asked, an undertone of devious intent weaving through the question.

My head tilted to the side, an eyebrow raising as I contemplated my answer. I didn't trust the sound of his voice. "Uh... No?"

"Is that a question or an answer, Ellis," he chucked.

"Both? I don't know. It depends on why you're asking."

"I'm asking because it's Saturday night, I have no work for the next two days. So I thought maybe you'd like to go and get some coffee or ice cream or something."

Not a good idea. Not at all a good idea. I wasn't ready to actually face him. At least with the phone there was a barrier. Going somewhere with him that wasn't at Up The Creek felt to date-ish.

"You know, I could just show up to your house," he teased.

Damn it, Josh.

"I'll drive myself," I responded so quickly I was left a little breathless. "Where are you wanting to meet?"

A low snicker filled my ears followed by the beep that told me he had disconnected the call.

I was so screwed.