Oh God Jerome Why Did You Steal My Father

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*heeleys into new york city*

"hey mom can you come pick me up, my heelyes are getting damaged and i need to save them until my birthday."

chris is forced to heeley to his small home in some random town in new york.

"hey mom where's dad, i'm trying to shave but i need help"

"Chris..."

"I don't know how to tell you this..."

"what is it mommy?*

"Your father...

Left me for another man"

"who, mom?"

"A man named Jerome... Jerome Davis... the most white name...he could have done MUCH better..."

*single tear runs down chris's kermit lookin face*

"It's okay son...you can see your father every few mondays..."

"i- i need to try and shave b-b-by myself."

"Yes son. You can do it."

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