Falling...

Chapter 5 ~ It's All My Fault

WARNING! SENSITIVE CONTENT!

Bella's POV

I felt like my world was crashing. I've lost Travis, my dad, and now my mom? How? If only I came home earlier. I shouldn't have gone in the first place. This is all my fault.

"Bella, It's okay." Isaac lightly touched my arm.

"No! How is this okay? Where's my mom? Where is she?!" I pulled away and finally rushed into the house. 

I ran up the stairs hoping to find anything that would lead me to her. I can't lose her too. Out of nowhere, it suddenly felt like someone had sucked all the oxygen out of my lungs. I grabbed my throat trying to gasp for air. Isaac came running up the stairs to find me on the floor.

"Bella! What happened?" He frantically looked at me.

"I can't breath!" More tears threatened to come out but I squeezed my eyes shut still trying to find air.

Isaac wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly till I finally felt a breath of relief. I hugged him back and continued to cry into his shoulder. 

"It'll be okay, we'll find her." He brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead. 

"I'm okay." I took a deep breath and stood up.

Was that a panic attack? I felt like I was dying...

I went to her room first to see if there was any evidence of her leaving. There were a bunch of photo albums on the floor and I ran over to pick them up. 

"It's Travis." Isaac looked over my shoulder as I stared at the family photo albums and torn up pictures. 

"I thought my mom threw these away. She said that she didn't want to see these in the house anymore." I sniffled and wiped my nose.

There were so many pictures of us all together. We all looked so happy. It was nothing like that anymore. My mom doesn't laugh as much as she used to or even smile. It was truly sad. Everything changed within a day. After the incident, my parents fought a lot and I was bearing all the pain by myself. The day dad packed up and left it was like my mom had no more hope left. She wouldn't even get out of bed, eat, or do anything at all. Soon enough she got help and started working again but I still wasn't fixed and she never saw that. 

"I miss them so much." I cried and flipped to a picture of Travis and I eating ice cream at the fair. His dark brown hair was all messy like always and he was wearing his navy blue shirt that I told him to wear that day because it was my favorite shirt of his. Most siblings don't get along but Travis was never mean to me. He was always nice and protective of me. 

"I'm sorry," Isaac whispered quietly. 

"Don't worry about it." I lied and walked over to her bathroom door which was slightly open and the lights were on.

"That's really weird..." I pushed the door open and it felt like I had just taken a hard punch to the gut. If I wasn't scared before, I was now.

"Bella, are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Isaac chuckles and walks over but I stumble backward on to him and remain speechless.

"Woah there, what is it?" He holds my hand and finally looks up to see what has scarred my eyes and will forever be burned into my brain. 

After being speechless for way too long, I let out a loud shrilling scream.

~~~

1 month later...

"Today we mourn the death of Erica Hawthorn. A beloved mother, daughter, and sister. She will forever be missed by her loved ones. May she rest in peace." 

I step up to the podium as the chilly autumn breeze blows by and pull out my speech. 

"My mom was brave, caring, and was the only person I could ever talk to. I never thought that it would ever come to this. She has shown great love and I'm devasted to see her go. She took care of me while still working and even though she was stressed, she never let me see it." I paused to let a tear fall from my eye and I made contact with Isaac in the crowd. He gave me a slight nod to tell me to continue and I looked down again. "I will never stop loving her and may she rest in peace." I stepped off and slowly walked towards my seat next to Isaac and even though I felt people's eyes on me, I still only looked at him. 

"That was beautiful," He whispered and rested his hand on mine.

I tensed up but then relaxed, letting him.

~~~

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Someone who I've never seen before came up to me and held my hand tightly. 

I nodded at them and smiled.

I've been getting a lot of that lately and it bothered me that I didn't even know any of these people. How did they know my mom? Just as I was about to walk over to Isaac who was talking to my cousin, someone called my name.

I swiftly turned to see someone very unexpected.

"Isabella," My dad walked up to me. 

"No," I quietly said under my breath and headed in the other direction. 

"Honey please," He grabbed my arm to turn me around. "You know you could've called me." He stared at me with his dark gray eyes that used to show comfort but now made me feel the opposite.

"You left," I said with rising anger. "What was I supposed to say? Mom killed herself, come back so we can talk about it? You weren't there." 

Some people started to stare and from the corner of my eye, I see Isaac looking at my dad confused. 

"I'm very sorry, but I didn't know she was depressed." 

"How could she not be? Travis then you? I already blame myself and now you just come along pretending like you care about me?" I lower my voice trying not to disturb the reception.

"I came to show you that I've always cared. I didn't know that you thought that." He looked back up at me.

"Then you should've never left." 

Hey guys! I know that not a lot of you are reading this but please share and recommend it to other people. I'm really trying to be consistent now and I don't want that to go away!

Have a nice day!