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Here are some doodles I managed to do before all motivation left me. I wanna draw but the idea of doing anything makes me feel bad.
I've kinda just been lying in bed watching mark play five nights at Freddy's. I don't wanna go downstairs to eat because I've been avoiding my family as much as possible. I've had breakfast and I know that I have snacks in my room but I wanna save those because I can't restock them anytime soon. I want to go outside and get the possum bones that I know are near my house, but I can't do that with my mom awake or around. She'll make me throw them away.
God I crave intimacy. You never really realize how much of the human touch you relish in until you can't have it. I miss being able to touch Cali, whether it be me throwing my legs over hers or just playing with her hair. I miss being able to sit with my friends at lunch, our knees brushing; laughter and jokes bouncing between us. I've been trying to fill the void of my friends with stuff animals, YouTube and fan fiction. And yeah talking to them on discord works, but it's not the same. It's just small gratifications that die as quickly as they arrive.
My mom came into my room to remind me that I have laundry to do and that I have to do Pilates. I hate doing Pilates because my mom makes me do them in the living room so she can watch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I hate it. I'm gonna go switch out the load and grab something to eat.
