indigo | moxiety | sanders sides [ONGOING !!!]

01. virgil

I tugged at my rolling suitcase, stepping out of the elevator. The last of my luggage was inside, and once I got it to my dorm, I'd be able to start unpacking. I pushed open the door with my foot as I struggled with the suitcase. Once it was finally inside, I sighed and plopped down on the bed. It was a lot nicer than I had expected, which was a pleasant surprise. With another sigh, I got up and started rooting through my duffel bag. I pulled out the sheets I had brought from home, placing them on the bedside table. I pulled the sheets that were originally there off of the bed and started making it.

I wonder when my roommate will get here, I thought anxiously. I really hope he doesn't mind that I'm trans. That thought made me freeze. What if he does? What if he's transphobic, or uncomfortable staying in a room with me because of it? What if he won't talk to me? Oh gods, that might be even worse, I can't handle a situation that awkward every time we're in the same room!

I took a deep breath. "It'll be fine," I muttered to myself, trying to keep my anxiety under control. "How about I just... don't tell him? No harm there."

I finished with the bed and moved on to putting some of my clothes away in the drawers of the dresser and hanging some up in my closet. I snickered at my extensive hoodie and flannel collection and the reoccurrence of the color purple.

Once I finished unpacking, I looked around at the room in disgust. It was painfully bland. White walls, hardwood floors, plain white curtains over the tall window. I grunted. I was glad I came prepared. I turned to the last unopened box with decorations in it, and the small rolled up throw rug I had brought.

I laid out the soft grey rug and grabbed some dark grey blackout curtains, folding the white ones and putting them away in the closet. Next, I reached for the LED light strips and lined them up along the ceiling on my side with the help of a chair. I plugged in my square lamp and placed it on my side table.

I took a step back and admired my work. Turning out the lights and turning the LEDs to purple, the room automatically felt more like home. Outside, the sun was setting rather quickly. I nodded, turned back on the lights, and grabbed my bag. I was gonna have to eat something, so I grabbed my wallet and stepped out to grab something from one of the cafes on campus.

...

I sat on my bed, scrolling through my instagram feed endlessly. It was getting pretty late, and my roommate still hadn't shown up. I checked the time. 2:38 am. I sighed. I was about to click off my phone and turn over for the night, but the door swung open gently before I could.

A short boy in a blue polo shirt and circular glasses slipped inside, not noticing me. He sighed shakily and closed the door, leaning up against it. That's when he saw me staring at him in confusion.

We just looked at each other for about 30 seconds before he cleared his throat and looked away. I noticed streaks on his face reflecting in the purple light.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked. His head snapped back towards me immediately as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, no, uhm- yeah, I'm fine," he responded nervously. I frowned.

"Are you sure? I won't pry, but-"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, cutting me off.

"Okay..." I looked down at his luggage, which came in two large suitcases. "Do you want some help getting unpacked?"

He smiled at me gratefully. "Thank you, that would be wonderful," he said. I smiled in return. He had one of those smiles, the ones that were super contagious, the kind you can't even look at without feeling a little better yourself.

"It's no problem," I said, getting up.

"I like your lights," he said, looking up at the LEDs lining the ceiling.

"Thank you," I said. "I have some extra if you'd like them on your side, too."

His eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's no problem."

I grabbed the extra lights from my nightstand and unrolled them, climbing onto  a chair to reach the ceiling.

"Do you want some help?" my roommate asked, eyeing me warily. "Standing on that chair isn't really safe."

As if on cue, The chair slipped out from under me. I fell backwards for a moment before my roommate caught me and set me down on the ground.

"Woah, are you okay?" He asked, eyes wide with concern. My heart pounded, and my cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Y-yeah," I stammered.

"Here, I think I can reach," he said, taking the lights from me and standing on his toes.

He wasn't as short as I thought he was when I saw him in the doorway. He wasn't extraordinarily tall by any means, but he was taller than me. No surprise there, I've always been short. Even when I was still presenting as a girl, it was rare to find a girl shorter than me. This boy was average height, maybe a little bit on the shorter side. Soon, the rest of the lights were hung, and I just sat there on the ground, still feeling humiliated.

That's so like you Virgil, leave it to you to mess things up and make a fool out of yourself within 5 minutes of meeting someone.

"There we go," he sighed, admiring his work. He turned around and smiled at me apologetically. "Hey, are you feeling alright?" He plopped down on the floor across from me.

"Yeah, just... This is my first time in a situation like this, and it's gonna take some adjusting," I said.

"Oh, yeah I understand that," he said. "Personally, I grew up with a ton of siblings, so I'm used to sharing a room. This'll be my first time sharing one with a stranger, though."

"Well," I paused. "Hopefully we won't be strangers soon enough."

He smiled at that, and it made me smile again. We started chatting again, and soon, it was 5 am. We got carried away, and kept talking until we passed out from pure exhaustion.

All things considered, our meeting, while maybe not ideal, was pretty nice.

~~~~~~~~~~

yes i know
i refuse to make a new account for this because then i'll end up abandoning this one, but the lack of good moxiety content has been driving me insane. and as i have learned in the past, if you want content, you have to make it yourself.
so yes
i made a moxiety fanfiction. sue me. i am mostly doing this out of spite. if i can't get my fanfiction butterflies from other people's work, i'll have to make my own.
literally this is just a selfish thing i'm doing for me lmao i just need my moxiety fix, i don't expect this to gain traction, and frankly i couldn't care less if it does or not
anyway.
don't feel like you have to read this.
i just wanted to make this i dunno