my girl

five

Casey's pov

After Lauren rushed out of my room I broke down crying.

I messed up so bad! I should have thought of a lie or something! Ugh, now what am I supposed to do? I want to go after her, but I think that it's better not to.

I tried to calm down but this is too much. A panic attack came just couple seconds after I started crying.

She hates me.
This is the end of our friendship.
I really shouldn't have told her, now she won't ever talk to me again.
I just ruined everything.

I'm going to talk to her now. Wait, I can't. She doesn't want to see me. Ugh!!!

I don't know what to do. This is so bad. I should try to get some sleep, that's the only thing that I can do, but my mind won't let me think of anything else right now.

the next morning

I didn't sleep the entire night. My thoughts were concentrated on what happened at 3am. After the night full of thinking, I came to the conclusion that there's absolutely nothing I can do. I gotta hope that Lauren will understand me when I'll try to explain my feelings for her again.

It's 6:30 am, I'm sitting at our dinner table in the kitchen, drinking my second coffee of this morning. The girls will be up soon. Lauren usually wakes up first and I'm hoping that today she won't.

"Casey, what the heck are you doing here" asked Mel as she came into the kitchen.

"Uhh I'm drinking coffee?" I answered awkwardly "why are you up so early?"

"I have the opening shift today" my friend grabbed a cup of coffee for herself and sat down next to me. "You look like you haven't slept a bit tonight"

"Because I didn't" I laughed before taking a long sip of my already cold drink.

"Is everything okay? I heard some loud voices coming from your room yesterday"

"I had a small argument with Laur and it kept me awake" I gave my friend a small smile.

Melanie wanted so say something more but Lauren walked into the kitchen. She looked tired. I smiled at her but she turned her head away from my direction.

"Good morning guys" she said before she started preparing a bowl of oatmeal.

"Sleeping beauty didn't get enough sleep?" Mel joked but neither me nor Lauren laughed. "Damn, I was trying to lift up the mood" she said before leaving the kitchen to go get ready for work.

"Lauren can we talk?" I asked quietly. My best friend didn't say anything, she just sat down behind the table on the furthest chair away from me.

"I want to explain something to you" I said and Lauren looked at me.

"Okay, explain to me why you kept this secret away from me for so long, huh? You knew about Chris being a piece of trash and a cheater! You didn't even though about telling me about your feelings towards me?"

"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what I was thinking back then, but now you know and I want to explain it even better" I said with a bit of hope.

"Casey, tell me why did you agree on something like that with him? It was the stupidest decisions that you could have made" Lauren raised her voice.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did! I was trying to do everything I could so you wouldn't get back together with him! I told him that he will regret coming back into your life"

Lauren didn't say anything back. She's definitely disappointed in me.

"Lauren, I really tried to prevent this, but after couple months of him being away I forgot about it. I don't want you to be upset with me, please"

"How can I not be upset right now? I'm more mad at the fact that you kept it all away from me. Your feelings? I'm upset about that."

"What do you mean? Aren't you mad at the park situation?" I asked and Lauren shook her head no.

"I'm mad that you thought that you having stronger feelings towards me could change the way I see you"

"Wait what?" I asked confused and Lauren chuckled.

"Casey you're like a... sister to me, I don't care if you love me or whatever. I might not share the same feelings yet, but it doesn't make me hate you"

"So you're okay with me liking you?" I asked, even more confused now.

"I'm okay with that just because I know you. Do you care that I don't want to be with you?" Lauren switch her seat to sit next to me.

"No, I want our relationship to stay the same. I'm sorry that I cought feelings" I laughed.

"Don't be sorry, I mean who wouldn't catch feelings for someone like me" Lauren brushed her hair from her shoulder.

"Are we okay?" I asked smiling at her.

"We're not okay, I'm still mad at you!" Lauren pushed me by my shoulder.

"Good to know" I laughed "can I somehow get back on your good side?"

"Oh honey, I have no bad sides. I look good from every angle" Lauren joked and I rolled my eyes.
"Okay okay, you can help me with a little something"

a/n

this chapter is a little shorter and kinda bad, but the next one will be more fun