Humanize: Road To Paradise

Chapter 13

She felt his arms tightening around her figure.

- I was so greedy for putting my feelings aside to "try and make this place a better world". Deep down, it was all fear of things not working out, fear of getting hurt again, fear of not being able to protect the person I love as I failed to do so in the past million times.

Her fist tightened around her pendant.

- Am I a coward and dumb for clinging onto a piece of stone? Yes... But this is the only thing I have to, somehow, be with them, with Nari and Vivi. To, somehow, be sure I'm meant to exist while I try to fix myself, to evolve and become a better person. Since I can't be with them because of how things have turned out to be, I have to cling onto this for my anxiety to not grow thinking that they are going through bad times... Even though Vivi is not here anymore, for me is as if Nari was here for both of them.

A sigh escaped her lips.

- What I tried to say with all of this is that, even though all this time I've had my feelings more and more clear, I was scared of how things may turn if I followed my heart again. I didn't want another bad ending happening, I didn't want to break everything because of my selfish feelings.

She shifted in his arms, straightening up, obligating him to loose his hold, their gazes connected.

- I don't want you to be hurt, Sejun.

For the first time in several minutes, the older gave a reaction, shaking his head.

- I won't. - he assured, smiling softly, placing a hand on her cheek - I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. - his expression got serious - And you are definitely not weak or dumb if you are still here and now you are telling me this.

Jiyeong sat properly, letting him caress her cheek.

- I didn't tell you all of this for you to pity me.

Her clarification made him confused.

- I don't pity you... Rather, I admire you.

- No, you aren't understanding me.

Now it was her who softly took his cheeks in her hands, slightly startling him, losing themselves into each other's eyes.

- Listen to me: never, never ever think again that you aren't enough for me or for anyone. Never think that you cause me any harm with your feelings, or with anything in particular. The worst scenario for me would be that you stop being yourself because of someone. If they hurt you, if they make you feel inferior or not worth it, in whatever field we could be talking about, they don't deserve you in the slightest, Sejun. Keep being you, no matter what, no matter who, me and a lot of people love you because of who you really are, and if the real Sejun feels like this for anyone or for me, then it's okay, it's great.

A giggle echoed through the rooftop, her gaze for a moment shifting to the sky.

- I won't deny, in the slightest, that I felt so incredibly happy the first time I noticed that things between us grew deeper and deeper, to the point it became something more that not even us could describe.

Again, she stared at him.

- But I wasn't prepared to give a step forward. My fear of giving a false step controlled over everything, and at first I didn't think it was this serious. As the days passed by, my heart literally was screaming to me that you were the one, but my fear convinced me that it was just a temporary thing, as with the others. I thought it was my old self trying to come back to the surface by craving desperately love, but... - she smiled - during the last weeks, I came to the conclusion that I really...

Her cheeks flushed red, as her heartbeat skyrocketed.

It would be the first time she actually said it out loud.

And to him.

- ...That I really love you. Even though I was keeping it to myself all this time out of fear of things changing in general and because of me trying to sort things out with myself, I'm being honest about my feelings now. When I'm with you time stops, and suddenly all my worries fade, all the things I've done fade and it's just the purest form of me who shows, enjoying my time to the fullest and not caring of another thing that isn't the moment we are sharing. Sure, this happens with the rest too, but with you... all actually fade for some hours, you know? - suddenly, she felt nervous, and let out a giggle out of embarrassment, hands slipping off his cheeks, head hanging low to avoid his eyes - It's... hard for me to explain it with words, but I hope you at least understand everything a little better after all I said and that you don't blame yourself for things not working out between us until now, since it was me who built the wall out of fear. There's a small chance I must've been perceiving everything wrong and that I'm building my own friendzone now. - at his laugh, she couldn't help but giggle too - But at least I'm happy if all of this helped you to not worry anymore about your own feelings and for you to just-

Jiyeong stopped herself when Sejun suddenly put their foreheads together, both blushing at the closeness.

- I love you too. - he half whispered, but the silence allowed her to hear it clear, his fingertips softly caressing her cheeks - I'm so, so happy you return my feelings, and I feel so lucky that you trusted me to tell me all of that. - carefully, he placed a strand of her hair behind her ear, so that he could see her eyes properly - If you need to sort things out first before getting in a relationship, then I'll support you through all the way and wait for you if you still feel the same once you feel prepared. - he smiled softly, getting rid of some dry tears that were stained on her skin - But, I want you to let you know you can count on me whenever you need help on something, okay? I know you are the only one who can solve what's inside you, but if I can help you in anything, please have me in mind if you don't have anyone else you want to speak with about it.

- I... I actually think we can become better together.

Warmth filled her chest when she got that out.

The older was surprised by her words.

- ...Are you sure?

- Sejun, in the last 24 hours I've been thinking carefully about what I really want, about all I've told you and, among that, about us. - without separating, she slid her hands with his, interlocking their fingers, the boy doing the same - If you agree, I would love to try slowly and support on each other while we are evolving, and since this is the first time in my life I feel 100% sure of wanting to be with someone even though my fear is still there, I want to fight it face to face and overcome it. I hope it would be the same for you, if I can help you in anything that burdens you or that brings you down, I want to be there to support you and hold your hand if you need comfort before trying again to beat the monsters.

He just nodded repeatedly, feeling himself tearing up due to how emotional their conversation was being.

- I want to try too. If you are now sure of how you want things to go, and I'm in your plans, of course I'll be there for you and I'd be so fortunate to have you by my side as something bigger than good friends.

- Then it's settled...

They locked eyes, still with their foreheads together and their fingers interlocked, tightening the grip on the other.

- Lim Sejun... would you give me the honour of walking with you to be better versions of ourselves and be my boyfriend?

He giggled, without letting go of her hands wiping away his tears that started to fall.

- Absolutely. It'd be my honour...

They smiled at each other, getting lost in the other's gaze.

And they sealed their meaningful confession with a kiss full of feelings that, at last, were not locked anymore.