Snap Out Of It (Negan X Reader)

Thirty Two

"Hi Doll, I've missed you. How you holdin' up?"

You sighed. You walked into your room and shut the door and leant against it. You looked up at him. He stood and slowly walked towards you. "Why the long face doll? Aren't you glad to see me?" He chuckled and he was almost right in front of you.

You put your hand up in a stop sign and he walked into it. Your hand now on his chest. "Don't move." You took a step closer to him and looked up into his eyes. He was staring down at you and begun to open his mouth to speak, but you placed your finger over his mouth to stop him.

You moved your finger and studied his face. His stubble was getting longer now, and the wrinkles on his face were more defined as you were close to him. Your hand moved to his cheek and his skin was bumpy and rough, but his cheeks were soft. You looked up the bridge of his nose into his hazel eyes like pine trees in the summer, fresh and bright with life. By this point your feet had lifted you up onto your tiptoes so you were level with him. You wanted so badly to kiss him, but you knew you shouldn't. So much pain and harm had come to everyone involved with you, including yourself, and you resisted the urge. Your feet slowly sunk back to the ground and you stepped back.

"What are you doing here?" You breathed out slowly.

"Here to see you. Ask if you're okay. What was all that about?" He asked gesturing to you as he referred to your intense study session of his face. You shrugged. "Nothing?" He closed the gap between you and lifted his hand up slowly brushing the hair from your face to behind your ear, then holding your cheek in his hand. "Didn't look like nothing to me." His words trickled towards you just as he did, going to kiss you. You froxe for a second and then swiftly moved.

"Please, don't. Look, I need some time alone." You opened the door and gestured for him to leave. "Please. A lot has happened and I need to gather my thughts." Negan tilted his head as he looked at you and then nodded. "Normally I'd tell you I wasn't going anywhere, but circumstances make me think otherwise. You know where I am if you need me." With that he left. Shutting the door you resumed your position at the door and thought about what he just said. "If I need him?" You spoke to yourself out loud. "I don't need anybody." You mumbled.

Suddenly you felt a wave of intuition fall over you and you felt more energised then you had in weeks. All you needed was yourself. Self love was the thing you were missing and before Negan came into everyones lives you were looked up to, admired and people followed our way of life. Negan came into your life during the line up, and he messed everything up. He made you feel less then in control. Sure he was a brutal, unforgiving man and way more intense then you ever used to be, but now you decided it was time for the only you back.

You smiled to yourself, the first real genuine smile you had for a long time and you rushed out to find some supplies.

Later you got back to your room and went straight into the bathroom. You had some hair dye (your favourite colour) and you had found some clothes to upcycle into a badass colection of new clothes. You got straight to it and within a few hours you were back to the old, yet slightly new you.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and you felt good. Finally. Granted you still hurt slightly but you felt unstoppable. You decided to pay Negan a little visit and 'borrow' a couple of weapons from him to keep.

You left your room and made your way to Negan's quarters. You walked past the room where his wives were and rolled your eyes. You spotted him in there drinking and you shook your head. You proceeded to walk to Negan's room but it was locked. You reached up to your hair and got a hair pin and unlocked his door with ease. You headed on in and found Negan's gun and took it, making sure it was loaded. You saw Lucille and decided to take it just to get on Negan's nerves.

You then walked out, gun in waist, Lucille over your shoulder and headed back to where Negan was. Upon arrival you stood in the door way, facing Negan as he sat in the far end of the room, two wives perched either side of him and you shook your head. He clearly didn't keep to his promise. He looked up and saw you. His frown turned into a smirk as he realised what you had done.

"Well, well, well." You said walking into the room, strolling in fact. "Looks like someone didn't keep their promise?" You said looking at Negan intently.

"Well, I just came here to have a drink, it's not my fault if these ladies sit where they like is it?"

You sighed. "No, but why come and drink in here? You're mine now aren't you? You should be drinking with me." Negan smirked again and nodded. You reached Negan and walked behind him. "Everybody leave." You announced and nobody moved. "Seriously?" You shook your head and pulled out your gun. "Leave. Now." A few women got the message and left straight away, others were hesitant but they soon left. You put the gun away and walked round in front of Negan.

"Now doll, what was all that about?" Negan asked looking up at you, his eyes excited by what was in front of him.