Sick and Tired

Help Me

A/N this chapter has abuse, rude comments, and suicide attempts. If any of these things trigger you I wouldn't recommend reading this chapter.

   I curl up in a ball letting all my emotions out. "OPEN THIS DOOR YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I cried extremely hard after hearing that. I knew Roman was outside the door and if he was this angry then Logan was there too.
Virge I'm so so sorry about them I miss you.
   The only time I was okay with the dark sides messages and spying was when it was Deceit. Even in these dark times his encouraging words calmed me. All my good thoughts immediately vanished when I heard a loud bang. Roman broke the door down and Logan was standing right behind him.
  "Get up you slut." Roman's words were intimidating and cold. I just shaking lay stood up.
  "Y-yes s-sir."
   "What did we say about the stuttering Virgil."
    "That it's useless and wastes time just like me cause I'm worthless and you only took me in because you had too." These words really hurt but all I did was quote Roman.
Don't worry Virge it'll all be over soon.
  'Thanks Deceit' I thought to myself.
   "Why are you smiling?" I realize what Deceit said made me smile. Roman looked down at me coldly. I looked down at the ground not knowing what to say. Roman grabbed my chin and lifted my head up so I had to look at him.
   "Answer the question."
   "I don't know sir."
    "Bullshit."   He backed away and walked tot he back of the room. As Logan got closer I backed away. Fear overcame my body. SMACK! Logan's belt hit me right in the chest. I cried while shaking trying to not scream in pain.
   "Be a man and get up."
   "Yes s-sir."  Dammit I stuttered. Oh god. I just made things 10x worse. Logan looked at me dead in the eye before hitting me ferociously. He beat me for what felt like hours. After he was done he kicked me and told me to stand up.
   "Remember if Thomas hears what I did to you"
   "I'm dead" I respond coldly.
    "Good now next time think before you make Thomas have a mental breakdown."  The second he and Roman walked out of my room I cried my eyes out.
Virge it'll be okay I promise.
   Thanks Deceit.
   I got to my bathroom inspecting the new cuts and scars. I had cuts all over my face. I don't even know how makeup is going to cover this up. I take out some bandages and put them on my torso. I am useless. No one wants me here and no one ever will. I don't like them and they don't like me so what's the point of even trying anymore. I sneak into the kitchen to grab the sharpest knife there. I run back up into my room and close my door. I lock it to for good measures. I take the knife and I start cutting my arms. Cutting and cutting like that's what I was made to do. At first they were just small little scrapes then as I continued they started to get deeper. And eventually they bled. This was oddly relaxing to me. The cutting just helped with my anger and short temper. I bandage my arms when I hear a voice on my head.
   Virge why would you do that? You know I can't live without you.
    Deceit I'm so sorry. I completely forgot that he could watch what I was doing. I feel so bad. I started crying.
    Virgie why is my baby sister so upset. You're still just my baby girl and you always will be.
I knew this voice all to well. This was envy. He always babies me the most and he always called me his baby sister.
  "I'm not your baby sister Envy. I'm a boy and I'm not even that young."
How old is Thomas again Virgie?
"30"
Right and Virgie how old are you?
"15" I quietly mumble.
Exactly you're only half of Thomas's age the rest of us are all in our 20's and your still just a teenager. So that makes you my baby.
    "Well then walk me through how I'm a girl."
Have you seen how much makeup you put on? And the whole time you were here you acted like Deceit's little girlfriend
  "First of all you know what the makeups for and Second of all it's not my fault the Deceit's the only decent person in the mind palace."  The voices stop. I lay down in my bed. I don't even care anymore I just start having the worst anxiety attack I've ever had. I hope Deceit will still be my friend. I feel really guilty because of what I did. But now I'm going to at least try to get some sleep. 

A/N I know it isn't that good I'm sorry but yet again I'm doing this at 3:54am so cut me some slack.