The Curse Of The Wereporg

3:The Force-wielding Porg

THREE: The Force-wielding Porg

Armitage Hux had done some very strange and difficult things in his life. Murdering various people hadn't been that hard-though killing his own father had been slightly more of a challenge-but far and away the hardest was standing in his own quarters, staring at a black and white porg levitating his beloved Millicent and asking it if it was, in fact, Kylo Ren.

And he thought his sanity may be leaving him completely when he damned creature gave a small, embarrassed nod.

For a long moment, Hux was engulfed in a tsunami of emotions: shock, dismay, amusement, horror and a brief thought that he could kill Ren and no one would notice! But then he shook himself: there was something inexplicable going on here and if it could take down Ren, who was definitely the most dangerous single fighter in the First Order, then it was a palpable threat to Hux himself. So he pulled himself together and glared at the creature.

"Put my cat down at once!" he snapped.

The porg gave him a plaintive look but refused.

"I said now!" Hux growled. The porg raised his wing, demonstrating fresh claw-marks on the feathers, and pointed at the hissing Millicent and the General took a slow, irritated breath. "Fine!" he spat and walked over to retrieve Millicent, stroking the growling cat."There, there, Millie my dear. Daddy needs to talk to the nasty porg now. Come with me and I'll give you a little snack." And then he disappeared into his bedroom, still soothing the angry ginger cat and stroking her soothingly. After a few moments of fussing Millicent and thinking swiftly, Hux re-emerged into the living area, glancing around to locate the creature as he firmly closed the door.

The porg had clambered onto the couch and was observing him with its big black eyes in its whimsical face. Hux walked forward and looked down on it: if it was actually Ren, he was going to enjoy the novelty of looking down on the man.

"Get off the furniture!" Hux snapped. "I don't permit vermin to sit on the couch!" The porg gestured towards the door. "And no, Millie is not vermin. You, on the other hand..."

The Porg gestured and Hux folded his arms.

"So, Ren-how did you contrive to end up as...this?" Hux asked as the creature glared. Then it shrugged clumsily. "How precisely do you intend to conduct this? Hand signals? Charades? Typing on a datapad?" There was a sign of interest so Hux spun on his heel. "Come," he said curtly and strode into his office, watching the Porg jump clumsily from the couch and waddle humorously into the office. Hux glanced back and then had to look away, his lips twitching. The Porg glared as it managed to get onto the chair with a combination of jumping and flapping its ludicrously stubby wings. Then it bounced onto the desk and glared at the datapad.

"Take care," Hux managed, his voice wavering hopelessly with suppressed laughter. The Porg looked offended. "That's my favourite pad!" Giving a jarring squeal, the creature gingerly stabbed at the keyboard function, clumsily mashing up the letters. Hux tutted and shook his head. The porg tried tapping with its wing, which was a little more successful and he managed to type

IU ASM KYU;LO TREN

"Pathetic," Hux muttered as the Kylo-Porg gave him the porg version of a filthy look before leaning back and stiffening. Before him, the keys began to light one after the other, typing hesitantly but more accurately.

I WOKE LIKE THIS. STORMTROOPERS TRIED TO SHOOT ME. AND YOUR CAT ATTACKED AND BIT ME. IT IS VERMIN TOO.

"I suggest, if you want my assistance, that you apologise immediately for that slur on my pet," Hux told him shortly. "She is a pedigree animal and perfectly trained. You invaded her space and she can smell something wrong about you. She had every right to defend herself against you."