Born in a New Generation

Chapter 1

'kaklase kong nerd, ang jeje mo'
'Hala ampanget neto'
''Di ka talaga nababagay samen'
'Iw you stupid'
'Gross'
'Nakaka nose bleed ka puro ingles, diba taga Pilipinas ka'

Ilan lamang iyan sa mga messages ng mga classmates and schoolmates ko na nasend saaken.

"Baket ganito sila saakin?" tanong ko sa sarili habang binabasa isa isa ang mga posts ng mga classmates ko.

Yeah, it is cyberbullying and the reason kung bakit patuloy parin sila sa kakaganiyan is walang may lakas loob na magsumbong.

Since I first enter this school, I've always been the target I keep on questioning myself why, like I didn't do anything to them but, they keep on getting mad at me like crazy.

Yes, like any other people who is being bullied, it is also too hurtful, hard to bear but life isn't life without any challenges, I didn't felt this in my high school and elementary days, just in college.

It hurts but, I can't do anything, I'm still doing my best to just ignore the words they said but sometimes it's already too much, the heart was also stabbed.

They aren't killing me physically but, they are killing me emotionally and mentally. I've been killed a thousand times with their words.

I've also attempted suicide but, the 10 commandments kept on bothering me, I'm afraid that I might go in hell, but this shit is hell.

But even if my mind is full of negative thoughts, I always think that God made me alive for years for a reason but still I can't stop on wishing that I lived before gadgets came.

A little prayer for my dying soul, "God I'd like to thank you for giving me another day to live but, please help me with these people, they keep on bullying me, you know how many times I've attempted suicide but, can't do it because of conscience and I'm afraid that I might go in hell because suicide is one of the 7 deadly sins. My life was already a hell but, not as hot as the real hell but, as cruel as what it is. Please help me to have the energy to live day by day hearing those hurtful words that keep on coming out from their mouths. I'm severely hurt but, with your power, I know everything will be alright, not now but soon."

Pinunasan ko ang luhang tumulo mula saaking mga mata sanhi ng araw araw na pagpatay nila saakin. Itong luhang 'to ang nag iisang bagay na nagpapagaan ng aking loob, ang unan ko naman ang sumasalo ng mga luha ko. My parents didn't know anything about this and I don't have any intentions to tell them because I don't want them to worry about me. Supporting my studies is enough to make them stress what about if I add more, too much stress is not good.

I then fell asleep hoping that someday, no one will be bullied anymore and everyone will be friends with everybody. Please let me live where gadgets are not yet made.
•••
'Another day for my useless but, giving a use life' what I said before I opened my eyes just to see that I am laying in a bridge.

The f? Bridge seriously? paano eh sa kwarto naman ako natulog ah?

Wait this bridge is strange, seryoso? kahoy? where am I? this place is strange grrr.

"Oh don't worry Xin it's just a dream," I said and get back to sleep, but before I close my eyes I noticed a man with a kinda luma na outfit, he is standing in front of me but his eyes are settled in the river.

'Is he gonna end his life?' I ask myself then think about how many times I've tried killing myself.

"Hey!" nagtatatakbong tawag ko sakaniya at dahan dahan naman niya akong nilingon. Lumuluha siya.

"Anong ginagawa mo riyan?" tanong ko sakaniya, pero muli niya lamang ibinaling ang kaniyang paningin sa tubig.

Nang akmang tatalon na ang lalake ay agad niya itong pinigilan,"Kuya please wag."