Ours

surviving

authors pov:
She hadn't been feeling right for the past few weeks. However, she shook it off as stress and worry about seeing everyone again. Now she was in Wakanda and needed to know. The thought had been in her mind for a while now. She just was too terrified to accept it, so Natasha snuck away from the group and found a bathroom and pulled out what she had stolen from a gas station a few weeks ago, and managed to hide it from Sam and Steve. She walked into the bathroom stall staring at the test. She didn't know what to think, or how to tell Steve. They had this...night. It was about 3 months ago now. The nigh flashed back into her mind as she peed on the stick.
flashback
"We can't let that happen again. They got too close." Steve said carefully sitting down.
He had a large gash down his arm and one on his cheek that Nat needed to stitch and bandage.
"I know." is all she told him while sitting down with supplies.
It was silent in the beginning, so Steve started talking.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm surviving...you?" she asked looking up for a second.
"Right now? Could be better." he said with a laugh making Nat laugh too.
"Thanks for always doing this."
"It's really no problem Steve." she replied.
"You say that, but you're also bleeding and bruised. And you're probably as soar as I am and just want to sleep, so why do you do it?"
"Because I don't leave a scar, and you always somehow manage to get kicked or punched in the face, which I find funny." she said with a smirk.
"How do you know I'll leave a scar?" he laughed as she moved on to the gash on his face, delicately suturing it.
"I just do." she smiled and continued to teasingly say, "and I can't risk being responsible for ruining captain america's chiseled face."
"Chiseled?" Steve laughed.
"Good looking? Smooth? I don't know." she replied making them both laugh.
"You think I'm good looking?"
"I didn't say that." she said sheepishly.
"You implied it."
Awkward silence fell upon them, and Steve felt bad for teasing.
"Well I think your beautiful...if it makes you feel any better." he said with a genuine grin.
One thing lead to another after that.
end flashback
The alarm on her phone had just gone off. It was time to look and she rather do anything then that, but she did.
"Shit." is all she muttered punching the side of the stall and as the tears she didn't know she was holding in escaped from her eyes.
Staring at the positive pregnancy test that revealed she was 7 weeks pregnant. She couldn't fathom the results. However, she managed to pull herself together, put the test in her suit, wash her hands, and rejoin the group.
She walked up behind Steve and tried to catch up on the plan.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked concerned.
"Uh yeah, thanks." she said with a smile to convince him.
Some time after that she had some alone time to think. She wanted to tell someone in case something happened today, so she called Clint.
"Hey, Nat, what's going on?"
"Clint." her voices shaking.
"Nat, you okay?"
"No, uhm I gotta tell you something that you'll have to tell Steve in case something happens to me today."
"Okay, anything."
"I'm a- I'm pregnant." her voice lowering so no one would here if they passed by.
"What Nat? Really? Wow."
"Clint if this doesn't go well you have to tell Steve that I was and that I'm sorry and that I-....I love him."
"Nat what's going on?"
"Just promise, okay?" she said sniffing.
"Of course Nat....Hey congratulations momma." he replied trying to cheer her up.
"Thanks Clint, but I have to go now, bye." she said before hanging up not letting him say goodbye.
She stared out the window at the trees and the flowers trying to rap her mind around her life.
Natasha then placed her hand on her stomach trying to feel her baby's presence, and it worked for her.
However, it was then that Steve ran in and told her they were and had to go, then he left as quickly as he came. She followed him having no idea what to expect.
after the snap
She was running. Running to find anyone. Anyone she knew, but then she saw it. Steve hunched over Visions cold, lifeless body.
"Steve wh- what's happening." she asked terrified.
"We lost." he replied defeated as people were turning to dust left and right as they all waited to be next.
Then she felt it. The flutter. The pain and the loss. Her hand moved to her stomach trying reach through to comfort the innocent life she knew was being torn away from her. It was all so fast. Causing Nat to then collapsed onto her knees next to Steve.
Steve quickly noticed as she began to cry. He pulled her into his chest as he mourned his friend, and she mourned the world and there baby.
They sat there in the woods for hours trying to comprehend and make mental notes of who they couldn't find, but eventually they needed to return to the tower and note everyone in the world missing. The list was millions of people long, many of them there friends. However, there was another list. A list for unborn children. Natasha volunteered to monitor it with Steve. Yes, it was stupid, but she didn't want Steve to do it alone.
"I couldn't imagine...losing a child." Steve started.
Nat was trying to compose herself because she knew she had to respond.
"Yeah I couldn't imagine the pain." she whispered keeping back her tears knowing the pain, the unimaginable, unbearable pain. She hadn't even known for an entire day and she was falling apart about something she didn't even think she ever wanted.
Natasha and Steve were alone watching the number go up and up for what seemed like forever before Nat finally worked up some courage.
"Steve?" she said tears still threatening and she knew she couldn't stop them.
"Yeah?"
"Could you uhm-" she choked on her sobs and he noticed, "could you maybe just hold me?" she said letting her tears fall.
His eyes looked with concern as he immediately rushed to her to comfort her.
He rubbed her back and smoothed her hair as he comforted the only person in the world he had left.
"I'm glad you're okay Nat. I don't know if I'd survive without you. I've already lost so much."
"Me too." she mumbled into his shirt.
In that moment she decided not to tell him. She didn't want to cause him anymore pain. She didn't want him to know he'd lost someone else. She didn't want him to know he lost his child.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No, but I'm surviving....you?"
"Right now, could be better." he said with a small smile hoping she'd remember.
She did; letting him know with a small grin.
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y'all this is so old i wrote it in 2019 and don't even remember what it's about lolz but enjoy :)
all this is super inspired by something else but idk what it is
i'm also NOT a writer loll