Ours

buried

authors pov
The time heist is in 2 days. Nat has 2 days to figure out how to tell Steve something she had buried 5 years ago and mourned alone. She knew Steve was in his bedroom, probably sketching the skyline of New York, while Nat was in her bedroom. Laying in bed, just thinking. How was she supposed to tell him? She'd concealed it for so long. At that moment she decided to muster up her "20 seconds of courage," and just tell him. She slowly lifted herself up from her bed and walked down the hallway to Steve's room.
steve's pov
I was sitting in my window sketching the night skyline when there was a small knock on my door. It was almost 1am, and only one other person is ever up at this hour of the night.
He walked up to his door and was proven correct when a red haired, sleepy Natasha stood in his doorway.
"Hey."
"Hey...uhm nightmares?" i asked slowly.
"Uhm no...just couldn't sleep. Something on my mind."
"Do you wanna talk about it...?" I asked carefully.
"That's kinda why I'm here. It's important." i listen intently now noticing she was fidgeting with her hands.
"Oh, sure. Is everything okay?" I asked as she walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
"You want any?" she asked dodging my question.
"No I'm good...you didn't answer my question."
She didn't reply. She was looking down and rubbing her neck. I've never seen her like this.
nats pov
I was dodging the question. I didn't know how to tell him, so I started from the beginning.
"Uhm do you remember that night when we were on the run and I sutured your arm and your cheek up?"
He looked taken aback, of course he did. It was his first time, which I did not know until the next morning.
"...Yeah...I do...Why?"
"...and what happened after that?"
"I remember."
I look up at him from my glass of water I realize I've been looking at for far too long.
"Do you uhm...do you regret it?"
"What? This is what you wanted to talk about?" he said confused, since it was 5 years ago.
"Just can you answer the question."
He then moves from leaning against the couch to standing across the counter from me.
"No. I don't." he says truthfully.
"Okay." I said content, but then continued, "I gotta tell you something." I said finally making eye contact with him.
"That day we lost....I lost a lot more."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was uhm..." I said trying to get my words out.
Steve then grabs my hand, I guess he understood this conversation was taking a series turn.
"I- I was pregnant." I finally say.
authors pov
Steve just looked at her, eyes softening, but filled with confusion. He didn't know what to say or what to do, so he let go of her hand, walked around the island in his kitchen and hugged her. She didn't cry, she just hugged back.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked sadly.
she pulled away, "You had already lost so much I didn't want you to have to feel this along with it."
"But Nat you didn't deserve to go through that alone, no one does." Steve replies becoming emotional.
"You don't deserve to go through it at all." she replied still entangled in his arms.
"Nat no one does." he said pulling her back in.
"Maybe I do." she said barely audible.
"Nat what are you talking about?" he said taken aback.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Nat, that's your past that is not who you are anymore."
"Still Steve..."
"Come on you've known me long enough to know what I'm gonna say next."
There was a moment of silence between them and in that time Nat had gone across the room to sit on his couch.
"I can't do this Steve," she said in a defeated tone he had never heard, "I can't."
He then moved onto the couch sitting across from her.
"Nat?"
"I can't. Time travel, pregnancy, babies, love, loss, I was taught my entire life not to feel. I was slowly and finally starting to learn that it's ok to want those things and feel feelings....but then my life was hit by yet another bus."
"Bus?" Steve said confused.
"I don't know. Karma is quite evident in my life."
"You believe in that stuff?"
"Don't you?"
"....I believe you are in charge of your own fate."
Nat looked at him encouraging him to keep going.
"You came from this terrible terrible place and now you're helping so many people. When you came in tonight and told me what you told me you weren't freaking out over the whole baby thing, which i kind of am, you only cared about what I thought, you put others before yourself. I think that makes a pretty great person."
There was a pause before she replied.
"You're half right," he raised an eyebrow, "I'm terrified of the baby thing."
"I haven't quite processed it yet, but I'm gonna be here Nat. If we get this back we can retire and pull a Clint." Steve said with a small laugh.
Nat laughed too.
"I've never done this before."
"Well neither have I Nat."
They sat there for awhile after.
"Im sorry I didn't tell you."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there." he replied.
"...You think we're gonna get this back?"
"We have to. I don't know what we'll do if we can't."
"You really want this? A baby? With me? Because I'm not even sure I want it."
he then takes her hands in his.
"Nat, sure it was a one time thing, but Nat we made a baby, our baby, which I still don't know how that's possible and we can talk more later, but I had to give up on wanting this and today you came in here and told me that by the end of the week I might have the one thing I didn't think I'd ever get to have. You're the only person who's gotten me through the past 10 years......So yeah Nat, I want it, and I want it with you."
One time thing. She didn't want it to be a "one time thing," yet she was so moved by his words.
"Steve..." without thinking she leans in and kisses him softly. She is surprised that he doesn't pull away.
She pulls away first uttering, "Can it not just be a one time thing." she whispers full of emotion.
"I was kinda hoping you'd say that." he says smiling pulling her into his embrace.
"What happens if we don't get it back."
"Like I said, we have to."

author:
hiiiii. hope you liked it. again i wrote this two years ago sooo hopefully it's decent lol. thank you for reading :)