September m.c.

twelve

PART TWO

Seeing her again was like walking by a comic book store and seeing that one that you've always wanted to read, but could never find or have. Everything was in slow motion as I passed the one thing that I wanted the most but could never get. It pained me knowing that it was right there, but I had to walk away because it wasn't mine.

Violet's long, dark hair was cut short compared to the last time I saw her. It was also straight instead of those natural, unbrushed waves that use to fall down her back so gracefully. She was beautiful in the tight black dress that stopped above her knees. It hugged her curves, which she absolutely loathed, and the heels she wore made her ass look amazing.

There was only one thing about this scene that was breathtaking but not beautiful. She had walked out of the restaurant and into the cold September air alone when I saw her. She glanced up and down the street before craning her neck to see into Pearson's Steakhouse. Then my breath was stolen at the sight of her extending her hand and someone from within grasping it. She smiled at the person and pulled them out the door.

It was inevitable, I knew it the night that everything in my life told me that it was a mistake trying to stay in town and make friends. Alex smiled at her, his shoulders moving up to shield as much of his face from the wind as possible, and he leaned in to kiss her. She smiled, her dark red lipstick covered lips revealing happiness, and she giggled at Alex.

I knew it, yet I fucking hated myself for it. Why did I fuck it all up? Why didn't I try harder instead of giving up and ruining every good thing in my life? At the time it seemed like that would be the last time I would be in Whitfield, but everything fell back into place a year later. A year was just enough time for her to move on. I debated on seeing her again, but I was terrified of her reaction. She was a fragile person and I was certain that my sudden leaving hurt her. I did not want to see her cry and hear her tell me that what I did was fucked up. I didn't want her to yell at me and tell me that I was an idiotic jackass and that she never wanted to see me again. I deserved both, but I didn't want any of it. I knew that walking back into her life was not going to be easy and it might not even happen.

The stoplight turned green and eased my suffering caused by seeing Alex's hand on her lower back as he opened a car door for her. Coming back home was difficult enough, now my mind was a maelstrom of worries that included Violet. I did my best to push her out of my mind and succeeded once I pulled up in front of my mom's house. I worried for her instead.

"Mikey," she called from her bedroom. I left my keys on the table and went to her room. She was unpacking her suitcase with a smile on her face. "Where have you been? Catching up with old friends?"

"Something like that," I muttered. "What do you want for dinner?"

"No," she said sternly. "There will be none of that, Mikey. I'm cooking from here on out. I learned a thing or two at that house, you know." She winked and grasped my biceps tightly, a loving look falling upon her face. It looked healthier than it has in months.

I was use to cooking for the both of us, mostly myself, but she seemed determine to do something on her own, so I nodded.

"This is a new start," she breathed and patted my arm before walking past me.

I believed that this time things were different, but her reassurance that this was a new start didn't further that belief. She has said it too many times to bring me hope, but in the end she always let me down. I begged her to move into a different town, but she convinced me that with all the change in her life she wanted a constant and that constant was the same house on Cherry Avenue in Whitfield. It was her money and her house, so I had no choice. I could get my own place, but I wasn't going to leave her alone to fall to the bottom of the abyss. I had to be there to pull her up when she fell over the edge.