September m.c.

twenty-one

"Hold my hand."

"Fuck no."

"Please."

"You already fucked Michael. Don't add me into this mess."

"That was too shitty."

"Sorry...let go."

I did, although I needed the comfort, and focused on the task at hand. I heard the phone ring for the third time and I almost smiled thinking that Alex wasn't going to pick up, however the ringing was cut short and Alex's deep voice rang out loud and clear through my phone. I regripped Tommy's hand, tighter than before making him jump slightly and silently cry out for pain.

"Now's not a good time, Vi."

"Oh," I said delightedly, my voice sounding too high pitched. He handed me the chance to avoid this conversation, I took it. "Well, we can talk later."

"Actually wait," he said quickly and I almost groaned out loud. "I was going to call you earlier, actually. What are you doing tonight?"

Try to avoid Leo and cry in my room because I'm a selfish fuck up who can't decide what the fuck she wants. "Nothing at all," I said trying to hide my frustration from him. Beside me Tommy was laughing his ass off, but I couldn't tell him to fuck off or anything because Alex started talking.

"Good. I'm sure Tommy told you about the party at Johnny's tonight? I know you don't really like parties for whatever reason, but you're coming with me anyway."

"Oh," I said, my voice fake and flat. I hated parties, but Alex almost never respected that. I had to have Leo make up some reason for me to stay home whenever Alex wanted to party so that I didn't have to go. The nights usually ended up with me standing silently at his side while he was being social and sometimes using me to make his friends laugh and envy him. A party wasn't the right place to tell him that I cheated on him and wanted to break up, but his mind was set and he gave me no room to argue.

"Pick you up eight," he said cheerily, making my mood fall lower than it already was.

"See you then," I forced out and then the line went dead. I looked at Tommy with a face of pure misery.

"Everything okay?"

I laid back on my bed with a loud groan, and Tommy followed suit. He grabbed my hand and said, "It will all work out in the end. Don't worry."

And I sighed in relief, but it didn't feel like everything would work out in the end.

💀

"What's up with you?" Alex asked. I could tell he was annoyed with me ever since I got in his car. I gave him nothing but short answers whenever he tried to start a conversation, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to be in his car on our way to a party. He thankfully waited until we arrived at the party to bring up my distant behavior towards him, so it was easy to mutter,"I'm fine," and get out of the car. He caught up to me quickly as I made my way up the stone path that led up to Johnny's house.

"Well you don't act like you're fine. You act like you have a stick shoved up your ass."

I stopped, my arms crossed, and scoffed at the rude comments he just made to me. I shouldn't be surprised, but i guess that after spending so much time with Michel I forgot what it was like to be treated like shit.

"I'm sorry," Alex said quietly. I felt his fingers softly graze my elbow, waiting for me to drop my arms so he could grab my hand. "I'm just frustrated because I want to know what you're thinking, but you're shutting  me out."

"Let's just go inside." We were both shocked that I brushed off his apology instead of doing what I usually do which was give into Sweet Alex and let him hold my hand. Not this time. I had to end things tonight; I just had to find the right time. God, why did he have to take me to a party tonight.

Inside, it was just like any other party. People were having the time of their lives getting up up with alcohol in their cups and smoke in the air. Alex, grumpy after my attempt to push him further away, pushed past me and I did what I always did: followed.

We ran into some of Alex's friends and they all greeted me. I smiled and waved before zoning out again.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink," I said to Alex.

I didn't wait for his response; I just turned and weaved my way through the throngs of people until I reached the kitchen. The sink was filled with ice, and several bottles of various alcoholic drinks were nestled in it. The counter was littered with cups, cans, and bottles, but I eventually found where the red solo cups were. I pulled one from the stacks and studied the different bottle, not knowing which one I should go for, but I knew I needed a drink.

"Have you tried mixing vodka and kool aid?" Someone came to stand next to me, but when I looked to my right I didn't know the guy standing next to me.

"No. Is it good?" I asked.

"I'll mix you one," he said with a shrug.

"No thanks, but you can help. Grab me some vodka," I said gesturing towards the bottles. I picked up a pitcher that was filled with blue liquid and labeled with the words "Kool aid".

"So are you here by yourself," the guy asked. I gave him an odd look as I pour some vodka into my cup. "Sorry, I just lost my friends, and I'm not from around here. I don't know anyone else really."

"Well, then," I said as I taste tested my drink. "What's your name?"

"Calum." I almost spit my drink out.

"Hood?" I asked and he looked surprised. "You're Calum Hood?"

"Yes, and now I'm a little scared."

"I'm Violet," I said in shock. "A, um, friend of Michael's." His face brightened slightly in realization, and he smiled widely at me.

"Holy shit. No way! Michael talks about you nonstop. I swear the kid is in love with you or something," he said laughing, and I tried to stop my face from falling. "Is he here with you? He wouldn't text me back earlier when I asked if he was going to this party or not."

"Oh, uh, no. He, I don't know, went home or something. I haven't talked to him all day really."

"Well, you have to meet Luke and Ashton."

"Yeah," I said uneasily as I let Calum grab my hand and guide me around the house in search of people that I've never met but have heard so much about. I was uneasy because Michael and I were at a weird place right now, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to meet his best friends under these circumstances although Calum wasn't giving me much of a choice.

So I followed him into the backyard where I saw two guys who had been perfectly described to me by Michael, and I gulped down most of the drink that was in my hand before we came to a stop in front of them.