Love Isn't Always Fair

Chapter 6

/ Kyle to the side /

| Andy's POV |

The sun was hot against the window of our tour bus. It was bright against my closed eye lids. I wasn't really up to the task of trying to stay awake, but then again, my body seemed to fight every chance of sleep I tried to grasp.

The hospital damaged my senses... or that could've been the drugs. I wasn't sure anymore. The only thing positive to me was the fact that I was tired but couldn't sleep and my tour bus was traveling somewhere I didn't want to be.
I contracted my face, my eyebrows knitting together while I replayed last night over and over again in my head.

||Last Night||

The hospital smelled heavily of anesthetics and cleaning supplies. My head spun as I tried to lift it from the fluffy white pillow. I heard the slow beeping of a machine and people talking outside my door. the lights were so bright I had to continuously open and close my eyes just to keep from catching a headache.

I heard muffled voices nearing closer to my hospital door. I perked up a bit, squinting my eyes as if they could cause my hearing better.

"He can't continue like this, Jeremy." I heard someone say.

"I know.." Jeremy said

I groaned, feeling the fluids from my IV burning under my skin. I closed my eyes for a brief moment before hearing the door to my room open and footsteps trailing in.

"Andy?" I heard Jonathan call as quiet as he could.
Jonathan was our tour manager. He controlled pretty much everything except how we shit, eat and sleep.

"Yeah." I attempt to say before realizing my throat was way to dry for any words to form properly. I ended up sounding like a squeaky toy. Have you ever heard a man with a deep voice squeak? I didn't think so.

"Look," Jonathan sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair- "you know you can't perform like this, right?"

"I'll be good after I get out this hospital."

My manager didn't seem to be too thrilled with the idea of me being in this hospital bed. I sighed and pressed my head into the pillow, falling fast asleep. The next morning, I was released from the hospital and taken out the back doors to avoid any press. As far as the world was concerned, I wasn't hopped up on drugs every night.

Now I'm sitting in our tour bus, my band mates all sitting away from me. They were just as pissed as Jonathan. I pulled my face away from the window, and rubbed my forehead.

I was sweating and I felt like shit. The left side of my face was bruised from falling on stage and my stomach was shit from the doctors pumping out the drugs before they killed me.

I scooted myself from the chair I sat in and stood. Walking to the back, where our rooms were, I sprawled myself out over my bed.

I didn't want to go back. We were going back to my old life. My life before the band was signed. The life of school and bullies. The life of locking myself in my room so my mother wouldn't worry about me. The life I left behind and wanted to forget. Of course I stayed in touch with my family. I loved them. But that life- I didn't love that life.

I groaned once more before lifting myself up. We weren't going in our tour bus. That would cause too much attention. We were stopping somewhere remote to switch vehicles, then the rest of the guys were coming to Jeremy's house to stay.

The rest of our tour was over. We couldn't go back to perform. I couldn't go back to perform.

I packed some clothes into my duffle bag. Everyone else was ready to go. Simply waiting to arrive and switch vehicles. With how pissed they were about tour being cancelled, I didn't doubt they'd leave without me. I shoved my pants and cut shirts first before packing my whole shirts and underwear. Weird huh? I never would've thought about underwear first.

I zipped my duffle bag just before the bus stopped. I heard the squealing brakes before I felt the lurching stop. I held the wall so I wouldn't fall over, grabbed my duffle bag and started walking toward the get-away car.

It would take five more hours to get to Jeremy's house. It would be around seven at night when we get to the house. Jeremy's parents would be waiting up all night for us if they needed. They were ecstatic when they got the news of our return. They didn't know why we were coming home. They couldn't know I almost overdosed.

I got into the back seat with Ashley and CC. Jake and Jeremy went for the front since Jeremy knew where he was going.
I didn't look at anyone or talk to anyone as we pulled off. I simply strapped myself in with the seat belt and pressed my head into the seat behind me. Ashley offered to sit in the middle of CC and I- probably so CC wouldn't try to strangle me.

What a stupid thought. Ashley was just shorter than both of us- he did it to be nice. My band mates were very cool about the whole situation, and I think that's what really scared me. I'd rather them bitch me out for being so stupid. The silent treatment just felt too cold. Too vicious for me to even bother trying to explain myself.

I knew. Everyone knew. I wasn't the same since the breakup with Juliet. There was no need to explain.

The five of us drove in silence for a good two hours. Just the open road between us and the next gas station. Every now and then there would be a few scatter houses behind the thin line of trees, but nothing major.

I wondered how people could live so far from civilization- but I figured it was best not to wonder too much of other people instead of myself. I needed to get clean. I wanted to get clean. I had no motivation.

Yeah, the fans were a huge part of wanting to get clean. But I had nothing else. My band mates hated me and even the slightest idea of a relationship was over. I didn't want a relationship. I hated women. They were so complicated.

With my thoughts rumbling in my head, closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep. I had been sleeping a lot lately. No doubt, my body was fighting both the urge to consume more drugs and the urge to get rid of my intake.

Both urges were too strong of a fight for my body to remain awake. I fell asleep.