In Time (Bwwm/ Interracial)

Roots

When I was younger my dad used to take me to the park. We’d spend all day just me and him walking, feeding the fish, and talking. One day when I was about 9 we were walking down the stone path to the lake and a roller skater glided past me knocking me down. I spilt all the bread I had in my hand and the pigeons began to attack me. They plucked at my hair and legs trying to get to the bread. I cried out for my father who promptly picked me up and whist me away from danger.

In this very moment I felt like the bread in this situation and Santiago, Mike, and Oliver were the pigeons. They were eating me alive.

I spilt all my bread crumbs to my best friend Shay hoping that she could do what my father did so long ago. Save me.

“Wow. It’s been an eventful few days for you hasn’t it?” She asked with a smile. “Well let’s start with this Oliver situation. Tell me what you felt when you guys broke up?”

“I felt numb, shocked, and sad. Most of all I felt pissed. I put in so much time and effort for that relationship and it all just went to hell. I tried so hard, and I spent so much time. Six months. Time of my life I’m never going to get back. Time I could have spent learning to sow, or recycling.”

“Hmmmm,” she hummed as she sat on her plush red couch stroking her pale chin in deep thought. She pushed her jet black hair behind her ears and leaned back in her chair. She had it. Anytime Shay figured something out she would lean back in her chair. “It is obvious you are sadder about the time lost on the relationship then the relationship ending. I think you liked him like I like pasta, but just like I can live without it so can you.” She said in a matter of fact tone.

“Damn you Shay your Asian wisdom is as great as your hair.” I said with a smile, she winked her little slanted eye at me in agreement.

I couldn’t believe Shay figured out all of that in less than three minutes. She is a genius and she knew it. “Ok one down let’s move over to this Santiago situation. Do you like him? Do you see a future with him, and is he single?”

“Yes. Maybe, I mean I’ve only known him for like a day, but he is nice, and sweet. Also yes he hasn’t had a girlfriend in 2 years since he passed the bar he’s been too busy to date he says.”

Shay didn’t even have to stroke her chin she jumped straight in. “Just because you like him doesn’t mean it’s going to get serious. He is not a problem right now. If anything were to happen he would just be a rebound anyway, also if he was too busy to have a girlfriend back then how could he have one now. He is probably busier now than ever especially after joining a busy law firm.” She took a sip of her green tea and crossed her leg in her chair.   

“Ok so let’s just forget about him. Let’s get to the Mike situation.”

She let out a long sigh and rubbed her temple with the tips of her fingers, “First I think you and Mike have always liked each other more than as friends but neither wanted to truly admit it, and you are both too nice to feel like you are forcing a relationship on one another. In addition to that your whole relationship runs too deep. Deeper than the roots of an 150 year old tree, and I’ve only know you guys for 20 of those years. This is uncharted territory that you have to discover on your on.”  Her voice was sincere and full of love, but it didn’t help me at all I was more confused than ever. “You should really think about what you want to do. You can stay here for as long as you want. I still have all those clothes you left over here when we used to stay up all night studying.” She said as she got to her feet and gave me the biggest hug her skinny body could muster.

“Can I cry myself to sleep on your sofa?” I ask sarcastically.

“Yeah just don’t soak my sofa in your lame ass tears its new.” She said as she walked back into her room.

I sank into her sofa letting out a sigh of frustration. DAMN MY LIFE!!

I took out my phone and noticed ten test, three emails, and nineteen phone calls from Mike. I ignored them all and began to draft my email to Jackson & Allen. I quite. I had enough problems I didn’t need a ‘job’ that I spent most of my time at and never learned or got paid for anything. I needed time for myself, time to think and be alone.