I Want You, Not Him!

The Kiss...

Jace Pov

Alec never came home last night, I guess he stayed at Magnus after their date. I need to tell him about my feelings for him before it's too late and I lose him to Magnus, but how do I tell my Parabatai that I'm in love with him, do I just kiss him or do I tell him. How will I tell Clary? Why do I feel this way about him? Ughhh, this is why I hate feelings.

I knew the feelings I had for Alec where wrong and forbidden, but I couldnt help but fall in love with my parabatai, I can only hope that Im not too late.

Alec Pov

Magnus had just dropped me off outside the New York Institute after spending the night at his apartment, I had just walked through the front doors when I remembered that I had to talk to Jace about why he's been acting strange around me lately. I rounded the corner where I spotted Jace leaning against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. I didnt hesitate before walking up to him and me being the straightforward person I am; started talking to Jace without noticing the way he was looking at me.

"Whats up with you lately, is it because Im with Magnus or something else because I thought you would be happy fo-" I was suddenly cut off from my rant when he surged forward, and the worst thing happened.

Jace Pov

I could feel my nerves coursing throughout my entire body when I noticed Alec walking towards me, but before I could react; he started asking me a bunch of questions that I'm not sure I wanted to answer. I couldn't help but notice how adorable he was when he rambled, and I couldn't fight it anymore; I kissed him.

It was the only answer I could give him that I knew would answer all his questions at once, but I knew I shouldn't have kissed him, I should have just buried my feelings like I always do because when I pulled back to look at Alec; I felt my heart shatter into a hundred different pieces. I spun around when I noticed that his eyes were set on something over my shoulder.

There stood Magnus Bane with a look of pure heartbreak and anger, and the only rational thing I could think about doing in that moment was running away, which is exactly what I did; especially when Magnus glare had me shivering in fear. I took one last look at Alec; hoping to see something that would tell me I didn't have to leave, but when I didn't see anything I run and didnt look back.

Alec Pov

Jace my old crush, my brother, my parabatai had just kissed me, it was the last thing I expected when I demanded Jace tell me the reason why he's been acting weird around me, and it seems like I got my answer. When I was younger I used to dream about what it would feel like to kiss Jace or to have him reciprocate the feelings I had for him, but surprisingly it was the worst feeling that I had ever felt.

His lips where cracked and dry, and the kiss was sloppy and wet compared to the warm, soft, velvet feeling of Magnus lips on mine, just as he pulled away, I looked over his shoulder to see Magnus standing in the hallway with a look of pure heartbreak, I felt my own heart breaking when I saw how hurt the warlock was, I had caused him that pain, but before I had the chance to explain Magnus had cut me off "save it Lightwood" Magnus spat before turning on his heel and walking out the door he had come in. Great hes angry at me and I didnt even want Jace to kiss me, I had to fix this before it was too late.

"Magnus wait" I called out as I ran after him; but he didn't stop, so I grabbed him by the arm and spun him around before pushing him against the nearest wall "whatever you saw Magnus, I need you to understand that I didn't want that, it was much a surprise to me as you" I explained; taking a shaky breath when I noticed that his eyes were filling with tears "Magnus I dont even like Jace, I love you Magnus Bane" I finished; stumbling back in shock when I realised what I had just said "I'm sorry Magnus, I know you probley don't feel the same right know, I just dont want to los-" I was cut off when I felt Magnus lips pressing against mine "I love you too Alexander Lightwood" Magnus whispered against my lips causing my shoulders to sag in relief.

Jace Pov

I didn't go far; just behind the institute. I still couldn't believe that I had finally kissed Alec but was even worse was that Magnus had seen the whole thing, and now he properly wants to kill me. I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard Alec's voice, I peeked around the corner the see that Alec had pinned Magnus against the wall, I was just about to turn around and leave when I heard the three words that shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

I was too late; Alec was already in love with Magnus and there was nothing I could do than stand there and silently sob as Alec told Magnus that he didn't recapacitate my feelings or he didn't like the kiss I gave him. I knew that there was a small chance of Alec ever returning my feelings, but I allowed myself to hope that he might return my feeling and know Im heartbroken.

I knew I had to explain everything to Alec; I had to tell him about my true feelings and let him know that I understood that what I had done was wrong and he doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I just hope that he agrees to never speak about this again, and I'm going to have to beg him not to tell Clary; cause if I can't have Alec, than Clary is second best.