Urban Wolf | ✓

27 | BEACHSIDE DIARIES

ADYEN

"If you keep touching it like that, it's never going to heal."

I blinked, looking away from the waters in front of me to turn to my side. I noticed my mother standing beside me. I must have been too caught up in my thoughts to hear her coming over. The material of my shorts made my thigh itch, so I reached down to fondle with its seams. Both me and mother were wearing flip flops and our feet were dusty from the beach sand.

"Yeah, I understand." I smiled, letting my hand drop to my side. "I'll stop touching it, I promise," I said, watching as she rolled her eyes. She didn't seem to buy that. The mark Len gave me was still hidden under a bandage. A lot of people had looked at me in horror when I went over to the airport in Toronto and throughout my stay here in Nova Scotia. It didn't matter though, it made me happy, and eventually, it would heal over and hopefully be a faint keloid scar-like Leigh's.

My mother reached out to touch the skin around the bandage before pulling her hand away. She was darker than me and Adyen, and her curls were more tightly locked. She also looked like you would expect someone her age would—mid-fifties. You could spot the gray strands of hair on her head if you stared at her long enough, and the corners of her eyes wrinkled up when she smiled or squinted. She also had some liver spots on her hand.

A vivid memory of how she had walked up to me in front of the airport flashed in my mind. She had looked so unsure of herself—afraid. Naylan had told me that she worried that I wouldn't like her, or that I would hate her for what she had to do to ensure my survival.

I didn't hate her, quite the opposite. I loved her laughter. I loved the way she hugged me and called me her boy as she talked about her country of origin in the Caribbean. My mother smelled like sea salt most of the time. She lived close to one of the many ports here. She worked as a deckhand. Her home was tiny. It was a one-bedroom fisherman's cabin that was close enough to the shore that one could hear the waves as they slept at night.

We had shared a room throughout my visit. She slept on the bed, and I curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor, mostly looking through pictures and boxes under a lantern light instead of sleeping.

It felt a lot like a beach holiday. I was glad I came.

"You'll be leaving this weekend. I'll miss you," my mother said, making me smile a bit. Her deep brown eyes were reflecting the setting sun. I couldn't help but notice how much of myself I saw in her. My chest warmed up, remembering our first meeting being awkward. I had been hesitant to call her mum, even though I had done so consistently in our phone conversations.

It took a few days of living today and talking for me to ease up and enjoy her company. We started bonding over food and the fact that I was always asking for her recipes. I loved the food she made. She sourced most of the ingredients herself. My mother kept a small garden and some free-range hens that pecked your feet if you got too close to their chucks. She was also good at fishing. She taught me how to use a net and a fishing rod when she decided I had stood and watched work for too long. I licked my lips, grinning at the memories. My mother, as I had learned, was a woman of the land.

"I'll miss you too." The sound of seagulls in the background and the waves that had drawn nearer since the afternoon was slowly giving way to the high tides of the night had at least drowned out the little cry laugh I did. My mum pulled me into a hug, and I swelled in it, wrapping my hands around her and closing my eyes. Maybe I would get to see her again during Christmas, but I wasn't sure if either of us could afford consistent plane tickets.

"Take care of your brother for me, will you?" she said, running her fingers through my hair as a sigh left her lips. "He has always been very ambitious, don't let him bite more than he can chew."

I nodded into her chest, understanding what she meant. Naylan had plans. A lot of plans. Being the leader of a pack was work, and sometimes even dangerous if other wolves decided that they wanted your territory.

"I'll report him to you if he does something stupid," I said, pulling away from my mother's hug. She laughed at me, readjusting the wrapper around her waist before we started to head back to her home together.

We shared a meal together on her patio, looking out at the beach that had thinned out in terms of people. The sound of crickets and birds returning to the creeks of caves up north filled the air as we chewed on smoked salted fish. My mum asked me about Len, offering to drive me to the mall if I needed an internet connection to talk to him. We've been doing that occasionally since her little cabin had bad reception and she didn't have internet of any sort.

"I'm happy you found your mate, Adyen," My mother said out of the blue, in a soft voice as we washed up plates in her cramped kitchen. "When I spoke to him, he sounded nice," she added, recalling the time I had put him on speaker, and they chatted for a bit.

"He's from Alberta," she said. Her voice was firm, yet muted. It was as if trying to refresh her memory. She nodded at her own words as she dried her hands. "They have stable packs up there."

I didn't respond to that, catching that she was speaking more to herself than to me. She worried about Naylan and me a lot, and she was a person that talked herself out of her anxiety.

"I'm going to his place in the summer," I said, making my mother look over at me.

She smiled. "Send me pictures."

"I will." I nodded, putting away the plates I had finished drying with a cloth.

We fed the chickens together and swept up the fallen leaves on her yard before locking up for the night. We talked to each other in her bedroom—her on her small twin bed, and me on the floor. She asked me about school and sports. She smiled when I told her I won my last race and would get to keep my scholarship for my second year at university. She slept off first, and I was left alone in the void of silence that was left behind.

I couldn't sleep, the moonlight spilling into the room illuminated the floor and kept my restless self wide awake. Another day was over, even though I didn't want it to end. The thought of that was bittersweet. A small part of me wondered if I could make the day longer by not going to bed. I listened to my mother's breathing, dreading the knowledge that I would have to leave for the airport in the next two days. I knew that I would miss her, but I was glad I had gotten to meet her, regardless.