You Can't Sing Without Air- Harry Styles Fanfic

41. This is the Part Where We Start Again

My first dose of Trikafta arrives bright and early Monday morning. I've spent the entire weekend in my head worrying about whether it will work, if it will make me worse, if I'll have any side effects- it's exhausting.  

Harry, Niall, and Sean slip in and out, as if taking turns by my side. Niall sends mum home for a few days, forcing her into some relaxation and restful sleep in her own bed. I text her almost constantly. She's become my rock, something constant in the ever-changing tides of hospital life. I can't imagine how I ever managed without her. 

She arrives back at the hospital a few hours after the new drug arrives, and I wait until she's here to take my first dose. Sean and Niall are present as well, although Harry is no where to be found.  

I swallow the two tablets that make up my morning dose quickly, the coating leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Sean and Niall cheer. I smile, holding up my glass as if giving a toast.  

"Thank you..... thank you!" I announce, taking in staggered breaths between words, "I would like to thank...... my mother, my.....eejit of a brother...." I hold the cup his way. He laughs. "My best friend.... and my shitty lungs, for this.... opportunity to be here today."  

"You're an absolute moron you know that?" Niall says, rolling his eyes at me with a smile. 

"I try my best." I shrug. He laughs again. 

The rest of the day is spent playing scrabble with my mum and monitoring my body obsessively for any side effects. I do my treatments and cough my brains out, but besides feeling a bit jittery I feel normal. At least, my version of normal. 

Evening comes around quicker than usual, and Niall and my mum leave to spend the night at a hotel he's rented for the time being. I'm glad Niall is forcing her to take care of herself. She wouldn't do it otherwise. 

"So, I've noticed things are a bit less... hostile between you and a certain curly-haired lad." Sean says after they leave, sitting down at the foot of my bed. 

"Mmhmm." I say, nonchalantly. 

"Mmhmm?" He says, questioningly. 

"What?" I ask, feigning innocence. 

He chuckles. "You're a mess Ayd", but he's smiling as he says it. 

"What?" 

"Oh come on what happened between you too? You know I'm dying to hear the tea." 

"Don't say 'tea' ....you sound.... like a valley.... girl." 

He laughs again. 

"So?" 

"Ugh. Okay!" I concede, adjusting my hospital bed with the remote so that I'm sitting upright. 

"I finally..... talked to him." I say, slowly. 

Sean gestures for me to keep going. 

"He... said he was.... sorry. And that he..... never should have.....left." I cough a few times, clearing my chest and throat. "That he..... blamed himself.... for me getting sick." 

"Wow." Sean sighs. "I mean, I understand his reasoning, but why didn't he reach out? Or say goodbye?" 

I shrug. "He admitted that was...... a shitty thing to do."

"Yeah it was." Sean agrees. "So, what? Now you're back to being comfortable strangers?" 

"I don't know. I think we're..... both uncertain.....about what to do." 

"It is quite weird circumstances." 

"The weirdest." I agree. 

"Do you... want anything more?" Sean asks, cautiously.