You Can't Sing Without Air- Harry Styles Fanfic

38. Hope is A Life Jacket

New Text: To Sean Byrne

A: You told Niall? WTF Sean??? 

I'm finally back in my room, after what seemed like the longest hour of my life. Harry had sat awkwardly next to me in the courtyard , expectantly waiting for a response to him tattooing what was essentially my name onto his body. I didn't have one. I just sat there, begging for Niall and Sean to return. They did, finally, both feigning innocence. 

Back in my bed, I let loose on Sean over text message. Niall and my mum are sat at the table working on a crossword puzzle. Thankfully, Harry made up some excuse about having to meet a friend, so I finally feel like I can concentrate. I need to get my thoughts in order. 

S: I didn't tell him anything! I swear! 

I shoot him a dirty look from across the room. He holds his hands out as if to say "what?". 

A: Then how did he know? 

S: He just figured it out!  

I furrow my brow. Fat chance. 

S: I swear Ayd, I didn't say a word.  

There's a pause. 

S: Buuuuuut he might have confronted me after he figured it out and I might have accidentally confirmed it. 

I slam my fist down on the bed. Niall and mum look up.  

"You alright, Ay?" Niall asks.

I toss him a thumbs-up. They go back to their puzzle, (dare I say it?) puzzled.  

I go back to yelling at Sean over messenger.

A: Ughhhhh seriously? 

S: Ayd, he knew already. You were a mess afterwards. Niall knows better than to think you were mourning your health. 

A: Maybe I was. 

S: Okay, well yeah, but you don't cry over petty things like life and death. You cry over much more important things like a certain dreamy pop star. 

In spite of myself I smile. He's right, I don't cry over "petty things like life and death."  Even when things were the worst I never felt the need to weep. What to tears do for broken lungs? 

A broken heart however?  

Sean shakes his head at me. 

S: Remember what I told you? Way before this all began? 
  

A: You've told me a lot of things. 

S: I'm serious Ayd. Come on. 

A: Okay, whatever. What'd you tell me? 

S: I told you to stop hiding. I think it's time you give that advice another try.

If I could groan, I would have groaned. Instead, I let my head fall back onto the pillow and stare at the ceiling. 

The bed shifts as Sean comes to join me, hanging his feet over the edge. I tear my gaze from the white ceiling. 

"I missed you." He says. 

I don't have to say it back, he already knows. Instead, I lay my head on his shoulder. No matter how crazy my life becomes, no matter how sick I am or how mad I can be at him, I know Sean will always be here for me. I wish I could promise to do the same for him.

 I missed you too. 

...........................................................................