Apex of the World

Darkness in Light

If the Light was meant to repel the darkness, why did she seem to attract it?

She did not understand why she was so vulnerable to the voice of the devil, but she wanted to block it out. Every time it happened, she longed to clap her hands over her ears and scream to drown out the noise, but it was impossible to get rid of something that lingered inside her own mind.

Was her body even entirely hers? Multiple times, a manifestation of the Light, Homeostasis, so it called itself, took root inside of her and used her shell to speak words that were not her own. Homeostasis had projected its Light inside of her, and the darkness craved it. For a being meant to protect her and the rest of her world, it wasn't doing a very good job by leaving her empty and hollow for shadows to fester in the back of her mind.

She was the only one who seemed to be unable to use the power of her own Light. It fueled the people around her, regardless of if they were human or monster, but she could never seem to internalize it. She shone brightly, but she could not use her own Light to her advantage. Heaven forbid she try to make something positive of the horrible hand she had been dealt.

After the first time the Light took her over, she thought it was going to be the only and last time. However, things did not go as she hoped, and even years later, the Light grabbed her body and used it against her will. She knew something was happening, but she was unable to stop it or otherwise control herself. Was she even Hikari, or was she merely a puppet created solely for the purpose of being forced to speak in the name of a Light she had never been able to understand?

Fiction always told her that Light was able to fend off the darkness. If a pure force that was white and shining cleaved through the black terror in front of it, the darkness would scatter. However, when it came to her, it was as if the darkness had a forbidden attraction to her Light, getting close enough to touch her with hopes of locking her in a cage for the glow she had never wanted.

The ocean of tumultuous shadows found her when she least expected. She felt sick, and all of a sudden, the darkness of the world made real grabbed her and dragged her into hell. She struggled and fought against it in a bitter struggle, but she was not able to win. She only escaped when the Light of Hope shone through her life to bring her salvation.

For a being of Light, she was pretty damn bad at embodying it.

The darkness held a longstanding fascination with her despite her attempts to discourage it. On her worst days, every step she took felt like she was either barely escaping the black void or walking right into it. The world became a hazy fog that hung over her tightly enough to suffocate all optimism from her fragile body.

She felt obligated to bear her Light alone. After all, everyone else seemed to be able to embody their traits just fine, so she shouldn't have been struggling. It wasn't their duty to hold her trait afloat while simultaneously trying to survive themselves. It wasn't fair, and she refused to put such a burden on anyone else. No matter how many times they insisted they wanted to aid her, she refused because she didn't think she deserved it.

This was her family, and she wanted to keep them safe. Dragging them down with her did not fit that definition, and she refused to stoop to such lows.

It wasn't until there was a more forceful effort that she shared her heavy burden with others. She was not the only one meant to be the Light. As a whole, their group was meant to defend both worlds they knew and the countless others they were unaware of. They were all meant to be the Light to combat the darkness, even if she was the only one who held a pink glow in the shape of a sharpened sun to her chest.

For the most part, she still held her struggles in, trying to utilize her own Light no matter how many times she had failed to do so. However, she realized one thing.

Maybe she didn't need her own Light.

The glow of the people she had grown to call family was bright enough to illuminate her world. She found radiance and pride in doing what she could to defend them. Heaven itself seemed to shine in their eyes, and she was honored to be able to see such beauties.

Through many years of bitter struggles with broken confidence, she did her best to take in the Light they all showed and use it for herself. Somehow, she managed to find her first scraps of happiness relating to the pink that rested inside her by seeing it in others, and she finally realized that perhaps her Light was stronger when she let her family aid her in seeing it.

Hikari realized that her Light was more than she ever gave herself credit for. It inspired a wizard to take grand strides to ensure that she would be safe. It allowed an angel to appear and act as her better half. It killed a demon who went after her and endangered her family.

Her Light was strong regardless of if she saw it or not.

For a long time, she wondered what the point of being Light was when there was always dark that tried desperately, constantly, to swallow her. However, she learned after years of struggle that perhaps there were positives just as there were negatives.

Just as there was darkness in Light, there was Light in darkness as well. 

------------------------------------------------

She's baby and I love her

Tomorrow is Daisuke!

-Digital