Apex of the World

Resurfaced Kindness

Did he really deserve to be called kind?

For a long time, back when he was young and innocent, he would have believed so. He didn't hurt other people, and he did what he could to make them happy. He stayed by his brother's side despite scathing arguments and deep jealousy, and was that not the epitome of Kindness?

Aging changed him before he knew what was happening. He had always been curious, and it was that same curiosity that led him to sneak into his brother's room to find a small device of a gentle blue. He examined it in the darkness, infatuated with the appearance of his own reflection in the screen. A small smile appeared on his face, and part of him knew that he belonged there more than anywhere else.

Ken betrayed himself in the moments following the argument with his brother. He had always been nothing but loyal to his dear brother, but in the heat of his anger, he wished to be alone. He wished for disappearance.

Unfortunately, he got his wish.

He stood over the casket, young as he was, and sobbed for a brother that breathed no longer. Was this his fault? He had wished for his brother to disappear, and less than seventy-two hours later, his brother's spirit left this world, leaving him isolated and overcome by grief.

He had always been told how kind he was, but was this truly Kindness? Was he really as nice as others claimed if he had wished for his brother to die?

Without his brother, he was the center of attention. He should have been happy, but he wasn't, because he wasn't the one who deserved it. His brother should have been right there with him, but due to selfish wishes, this was not the case.

Was the adaptation over the next few years for him or for others? If the world wanted his brother, then he was happy to provide. He was shaped into something that everyone adored, and before long, everyone had forgotten his brother even existed. After all, why bother looking back when the new child genius was right there in the moment?

Grief had a choke hold on his mind for years after the funeral, and in the quiet moments, he could hear the last screams of his brother before death took him from the land of the living. He screamed at the darkness to force it from his head, and soon enough, black light morphed him into something he never would have imagined himself to be.

Words of others insisted the phrase still applied to him. Kindness. He was Kindness, but was he really? He spent countless nights awake late in front of his computer watching creatures from another world. He had suffered in the past, so why should any others deserve to have joy? If he had endured pain that no other could hope to comprehend, why could they be happy while he wanted to claw off his flesh and burn his bones for words he had come to regret? If he could not find salvation, no living creature deserved it.

Thank the heavens for the existence of light.

He would have been consumed by his own darkness, left as a shell of the person he had once been, if not for five columns of light that glowed against the darkness. He could still see the shining of gold, yellow, pink, turquoise, and white when he closed his eyes, and he used it to fend off the horrible images that resurfaced of his rule as an emperor.

Even if he was the embodiment of Kindness, he had been capable of horrible things.

He created a monstrosity from a combination of countless living creatures, and he was unable to find reason when he looked back on it. Was it out of a lust for power? Did he want to see suffering more than he realized? Had he been infatuated with the look of fear in the eyes of the people who would be his friends one day?

He was unable to forgive himself for what he did that day. It led to him losing his partner, and he realized how sick and twisted he had truly been. How had he let himself slip so far into the depths of hell? Why had he allowed the devil to grab him by the ankle and flood him with negativity until he was no longer able to breathe in the ocean of black that had become his life?

Ken could never forget what he did, and he did not think that he deserved the trait of Kindness. He was unable to move on no matter how desperately he tried because he knew that the dead wouldn't be able to forgive him, so why should he bother offering himself mercy? He wasn't deserving of love, laughter, or joy.

His companions refused to let him think such, and without their Kindness, he never would have been able to find his way out of the dark. They were patient and generous when he struggled to untie himself from the bonds of the past. They showed him that he was capable of more than inflicting pain upon others.

Their words taught him that he could make amends for the damages he had caused. He could embody Kindness in the future while still condemning what he had done in the past. No person was entirely good or evil. He could do bad things while still being a caring person.

The road ahead of him would be long and daunting. It would be quite some time before he could forgive himself for all that he had done, but he knew that he would not be alone. His friends would be there no matter what, and his partner would not leave his side. They had forgiven him long ago, and they would be there until he could forgive himself.

They would be there until he could convince himself that he was worthy of the Kindness he had been gifted. 

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There's the last entry in this miniseries! I hope that you guys have enjoyed it. I loved doing these little analysis pieces, and it was a great way to lead up to Adventure Psi in my opinion. Speaking of, we've got less than 24 hours left, and Crunchyroll has picked it up! You know what I'll be doing tomorrow!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! I'll (hopefully) see you again on another story!

-Digital