I walk out the door of the Barakats almost castle Ok so what the actually fuck just happened?
Jack gave me a blowjob then for some reason I gave him one, then we made out, I was about to leave I kissed him and smacked his arse I was a little drunk but I will remember this clearly,
I'm so fucking embarrassed I can't believe I did that what the fuck Alex, I can't look at Jack the same way anymore.
The Next Day
I wake up to the ringing of my damn alarm "fuck" I mutter to myself I get up and grab a pair of black jeans and a plain baby blue shirt
i jump into the shower letting the hot water burn my skin what the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking dipshit, you're so stupid,
why? Hey? Why the fuck did you blow him? All those years as friends? Fucking gone! I can never look at him the same way ever, I feel sick just thinking of all that,
I get out of the shower and put on my clothes and do my hair I walk down the stairs seeing Elyar watching TV and Tom is probably wanking in his room,
I walk out the door and go to my bus stop and see Jack sitting there looking at the ground don't fucking talk to him I walk over and sit as far away as I could from him
"hey" he said looking at me with a little smile "fuck off, bitchy Barakat" I said and put my music in I could tell he was embarrassed
the bus came we got on and when Zack saw me he just waved "hey mate" I say and pushing Jack onto the floor of the bus everyone was laughing and so was I Jack just looked at me and sat on a seat
"hey mate, leave him alone" Zack said getting up and walking over to Jack "what the fuck Zack?!" I said before sitting down he sat down next to him just talking like mates do having a laugh and everything,
Am I losing my best friend to a gay loser? Ok harsh I know but he is I'm disgusted by him The bus stopped and we all got off Jack walking up the stairs by himself
going to his locker he puts all his books in there and I slam his locker on his fingers
"AHH! Fuck!" He screams clutching his hand "hahaha wanker!" I yell he walks off to his friends and actually his hand looks pretty bad,
'I think it's broken oh well' I say to myself and just walk to my first class
It's third period and Jack walks into English with a cast on his hand "Jack Barakat, where have you been and what happened to you're hand?"
Ms said to him "I had to go to the hospital, and I-I um I fell over and broke it" that was the most unconvincing lie ever told but Ms believed it
"Jack?! Why the fuck are you defending him, he ducking broke you're goddamn hand!" Rian whispered to him he was ignoring him you could tell
"fuck off Alex, you just enjoy ruining people's lives, you know people like you are the reason people commit suicide" he said to me I ignored it Because I only bully Jack and everyone knows Jack wouldn't
End Of The Day
It was the end of the day, and I was waiting for my bus and only for me to find little bitch Barakat walking up to the stop he sees me and stops
were the only two here he's scared you can tell he keeps walking closer and closer and closer and he walks straight passed me he's walking home
"oi" I yell at the younger boy he turns around "what the fuck do you want?" He said with attitude "no need to be sassy" I said he just shakes his head and walks away I just stand there watching him, something inside me clicked,
what I did wasn't funny or anything it hurt the one person that means everything to me
"Jack" i said looking at the ground I run up to him "Jack" were outside his house and no ones home
"I'm sorry" I honestly did feel bad I really didn't want to hurt him that much "for what, for what Alex, breaking my hand? Bullying me? Making me feel shit because of what happened?"
Yeah I did feel bad for all that "yeah" I think that took him by surprise because he just stood there looking at his front door "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for breaking you're hand, I'm sorry for bullying you, I'm sorry for making you feel like shit for what happened last night"
I could feel tears running down my face "I-I'm just so sorry, and I d-don-t want to lose y-you as a fr-friend" I was on the edge of balling "come in"
he said he took my hand with his and we walked inside and he sat me down on the couch and gave me water "it's fine" he said "no it's not Jack, I've been a prick to you, just because I was embarrassed"
I said still crying "I'm a low lived loser that no one would care about if I died" I was balling at this point "don't you ever say that! You hear me, Elyar would miss you Tom would miss you, you're mum would miss you, I would miss you"
i placed my head on his shoulder and just sat there then I put my head on his lap and just laid there, I felt save I haven't felt save in years since
what Tom almost did, he was playing with my hair making circles I honestly didn't want to move I started crying again I missed everything
this wasn't little tears this was panic attack tears I started having a panic attack Jack was calming me down
"breathe, breathe just breathe Lex it's alright Lexy everything's ok nothing's going to happen you're safe here" Lex he hasn't called me Lex since we were 7 I missed it
I calmed down we walked up to his room and sat on the bed I had my knees up to my chest
