Sensibility

Chapter 18

"I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that I often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness."

-Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

My body is rigid, pressed against a wall. No, it's not a wall. It's a seat. I lurch forward as my eyes shoot open into darkness.

There's a rocking motion swaying my body, and it takes a moment to gain my equilibrium. I'm in a vehicle. It's the Escalade, and its pitch black outside. I quickly assess my surroundings. The night sky starts to glow with twinkling stars outside my window only interrupted by a few vehicles driving by on the road with bright headlights. In front of me, Tori is behind the wheel, staring at the never ending highway. I turn my aching body towards the back. Zayn is sprawled out on the back seat deep in slumber. His long, lean body makes my heart jump, and I push back my drooling subconscious.

I turn away and brush my damp bangs across my forehead. Why am I so hot? Then, the images surface back one after another. It was another dream. I was dreaming about the blonde-haired woman again. Only this time she hadn't spoke at all. She simply stood before me with her crystal blue eyes and a look on her face that upset my stomach. She seemed terrified, worried, or simply foreboding to my every sense. I realize now that it has left me sweaty and breathless.

I try to compose myself again and take in deep breaths. It was just a dream for goodness sake, but it felt so real. Frustration covers my body as I think that maybe I'll never be free of this haunting vision.

I reach for a water bottle at my feet and take a long drink. Our day spent in Denver had put us seriously behind schedule for the trip, and Tori had offered to drive while Zayn and I rested for a while. The plan was to drive right through the night and hopefully reach Omaha by morning.

After a few moments, my palpitated heart has subsided and I hear a soft tune coming from the speakers in front. Tori is humming along softly as her usual purple glow falls around her. I think back to Zayn's suggestion of confiding in her about my recent revelations. Was I ready for that? Was I finally ready to openly discuss what has beleaguered me for so long? Already, I knew the answer was no. Asking Zayn questions was one thing, but fully disclosing my hindrance to Tori was openly admitting that I needed to deal with it here and now. I needed more time to think.

Instead, I take another drink of water and slowly lean forward to be consumed by Tori's bubble. Maybe I wasn't ready to tell her everything, but there were plenty of things on my mind that I needed to get out.

"Hey," I say letting her become aware of my presence.

Tori turns and sends a small smile my way. "What are you doing up?"

I force my clumsy limbs to climb over the middle console and into the passenger seat. "I couldn't sleep," I say plainly not focusing on the nerve splitting dream. I grab my seatbelt and strap in.

Tori's sending pressing ways. "You should really try to get some sleep."

"I'm fine," I reassure her knowing her command is one of care. "I actually wanted to talk to you." Tori gives me a quick glance with her emerald eyes, letting me know to continue. I take a breath. "It's about Zayn."

Her waves dance. "How is that going?"

Heat rises from the most recluse parts of my body. "It's good," I answer with a surprising smile. "It's just so new to me, and I wanted to make sure you were ok with it." I drop my eyes. "I knew you liked him."

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Tori's flawless face scrunch up and she laughs. I turn my eyes back to her, and she's settled with relaxed lines. "Do you like him?" She questions.