Beyond Home

Camila

I was  a little worried about Lauren being at Emily's game, but it worked out. The dads were eager to meet her, and the moms were eager to talk to her. All the while, she stood there with her hand in mine or her arm over my shoulders, and after they won the game, my daughter was in her arms. When a guy from the other team asked for her autograph, she asked him to call the main office and she would get it to him, but today she was with her family.

"I like being your family, Lo," Emily says before biting into her hot dog that she just grilled for her. We're sitting on her back deck having dinner. Hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill.

"You do?"

"Yep."

"Well, I like it too," she tells her.

"Can I stay here instead of going to Grandma's?" She asks.

"No, sweetie. Mommy has to be at work early tomorrow," I answer.

"I can stay with Lo." She says this like we should have already figured out that was the best answer.

"Sorry, princess. We have to listen to what Mommy says. I fly out on Tuesday, but I'll be back Thursday afternoon. Maybe we can have dinner here?"

"Where you going?"

"I have a game in Chicago. Then I have two games here at home, one Friday and one Sunday. Maybe you and your mom can come and watch me play?"

"Can we, Mommy?"

She looks over at me, waiting for my answer. "We'll see if we can get tickets to the game on Sunday."

"Babe, you don't need to get tickets. I have that covered. You just need to tell me if you want to sit with the other wives and girlfriends or in the stands behind the dugout."

"Which one is closer to you?" Emily asks. She has no idea that my heart is beating like a bass drum in my chest at her referring to me as her girlfriend.

"The dugout."

"I wanna sit by you," she tells her.

"Camz?"

"Dugout it is. You sure it's okay?" I ask, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Positive," she replies, grinning wildly.

"What's the big grin for?" I ask. It's causing a flurry of butterflies in my belly. Lauren Jauregui is gorgeous, but when she pulls out the big guns and you're on the receiving end of one of her megawatt smiles, she's breathtaking. That's the only word I can think of to describe her.

"My girls are coming to watch me play," she says simply.

We finish dinner, and I pack up Emily's things to take her to Mom's. "Thank you for today," I tell her.

"You're coming back, right?"

"Uh, I... Do you want me to?"

"Camz," she says, snaking an arm around my waist.

I look into the kitchen where Emily is sitting at the table playing on her tablet. "I wasn't sure," I confess.

"I want you here as much as possible. I like the two of you being here."

"Okay. I need to go home and change, but I can come back."

"Pack whatever you need to spend the night."

"Okay." I repeat the answer, because really, I don't know what else to say. I want to spend more time with her. I want more of her touches, more of her kisses. I'm too far gone to turn back now. If things were to end today, Emily and I would both have broken hearts. Might as well forge ahead. I can hear Vanessa's voice in my head telling me to take chances.

"Be safe," she says, kissing me quickly.

"I'll be back soon."

"I'll be here." She kisses me yet again and then pulls away. She walks to where Emily is sitting at the table and lifts her into her arms. "You be good for Grandma, okay?"

"I will." She hugs her as tight as her little arms will allow.

Lauren walks us to my SUV that's parked in her garage. She buckles Emily into her seat, kisses her cheek and shuts the door. "Drive safe, Camz." She kisses my forehead then opens my door for me. "Wait." She jogs over to a shelf on the wall and brings back a small plastic remote. "Here's a garage door opener. Just come on in when you get back." Reaching in, she clips it to my visor. She waits until I'm buckled in before closing the door and standing back, watching us drive away.

When we get to Mom's, Emily has to tell her all about our day with Lauren. Mom smiles and asks questions, all while wearing a knowing grin. When Emily runs into the house, Mom asks me when she gets to meet her. Honestly, I thought about inviting her to come with me, but I needed a minute to breathe, to process this freight train we seem to be riding. Things are moving fast, and normally, I would be scared out of my mind. The worry is there, but Lauren, she just makes it easy. I've never had that, not even with Shawn. There's something about her that calms me. Maybe it's the way she's so open with how she feels, about how she wants to see where this takes us. Maybe it's because she told my daughter she loves her. Either way, it's a lot to process.

I promise Mom it will be soon, kiss Emily goodbye, and hightail it out of there, making it to my place in record time. I grab the clothes I'll need for work tomorrow, my toiletries, and some clothes to sleep in, just in case. I'm now sitting on the end of the bed, debating if going back is the right decision. I know she's waiting for me; I also know that the chemistry between us is undeniable. I've only slept with one man in my life, and if I go back there, that's going to change. I know that, and so does she. The question is, am I ready for that? My body's ready and has been for a while. Her hands are like magic, her kisses like candy. But my heart and my head, are they ready?

I think about how good she is to me, how she's been upfront and all-in from the night we met. I think about how great she is with Emily, and I know I have my answer. I loved my husband, but I'm still young, and I miss having someone's arms wrapped around me. I miss the touches, the sex. I miss all of it.

Decision made, I double-check I have everything I need, I lock up my apartment, and head back to her place. As soon as I make the turn to pull into her driveway, the garage door opens and Lauren's standing there, as if she's been there waiting since I pulled out. I park and climb out of the car, only to be pushed up against the passenger door of her truck and have her lips welded to mine.

"I missed you," she says against my lips.

"I was gone maybe an hour," I say with a laugh. I don't mention that she didn't give me the opportunity to use the garage door opener.

"That's too long, Camz. Too fucking long." Her lips trail across my jaw and down to my neck. I tilt my head, giving her better access. "I need to get you inside." She nips at my earlobe and steps away, grabbing my hand and leading me inside. She hits the button of the garage door on the way in. I watch as we stop at a small white box on the wall and she engages the alarm system, then let her guide me upstairs to her room.

In her room, she turns to face me. I expect her to kiss me again, but she doesn't. Instead, she pulls her T-shirt over her head and drops it to the floor. All the while, her eyes are locked on mine. Before I arrived, I'd already I decided I was all-in for wherever this ride leads us, so I follow suit. I lift my tank top up and over my head, dropping it on top of her shirt. There's a slight tremble in my hands. It's been a long time for me.

Eyes still locked with mine, she pushes her shorts to the floor, stepping out of them. Tit for a tat, I unzip my jeans shorts and slide them down my legs, kicking them to the side as well.

"I can't believe you're here." Her voice is a husky whisper. "I've thought about this moment so many times."

Feeling brave from the hunger in her eyes, I reach behind my back and unclasp my bra. Slowly, I drop one strap then the other, holding the cups in place. Her eyes burn with intensity, the dark emerald green eyes looking even darker from desire. I drop my bra at my feet, leaving us both in nothing but boxer briefs and a thin black lace thong.