Beyond Home

Camila

Standing outside Emily's room, I wipe the tears that I can't keep from falling. She's so good with her, and she loves her. Hearing their story is like someone reached inside my chest and is squeezing my heart. I want to give her that. A family, a person she can confide in, a person she can lean on. Until Lauren, there has been no one. At least not that she's met. I've had a few dates here and there, but nothing and no one I would consider bringing into her life. Why did I do it with her? I've asked myself this question more times than I count, but its not until now that I can give myself an honest answer. Lauren Jauregui is a gift to us. She's loving and kind. She makes our lives better by just being a part of them. 

"Hey," she says, stepping out into the hall. I don't have time to turn and hide my tears before her big hands are cupping my cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"She loves you."

"The feeling's mutual. She's a great kid."

"What are we doing, Lauren? The more time you spend with her, the harder she falls for you. Her story-" My voice trails off and I shake my head.

"I can't tell you what you're doing, but I can tell you  what I'm doing," She pauses, waiting for me to look at her. When my eyes are locked on her, she moves on. "I met this woman... she's gorgeous. I mean 'take my breath away' gorgeous. She's also smart as hell, hard-working, and somehow balancing working and school. She's cast a spell on me, so much so that I can't get her out of my head. A spell so profound that I don't even want to. Then, one day I find out she has a kid. A little girl, who resembles her mommy in so many ways. A little girl, who is living, breathing proof of how amazing this woman is. She's raised her with little help, supports both of them, and never once have I heard her complain about being tired or being ready to give up. Instead, I get this woman, who makes me want to be a better person, for her and her daughter."

Tears fall silently down my cheeks. I can feel them as they slide over her fingers that are still holding  my face.

"I'm not playing games with you or with her. I know my lifestyle can  be a pain in the ass, and its not for everyone, but I'm asking you, Camila. Please, let me in. Let's make us official. I want to be able to call you mine. I want to know that I can stop by to see the two of you whenever I want. I want you to do the same at my place, even if I'm not there. Take Em swimming or just be there, in my space. I want our lives so entwined that none of us will be able to remember what life was like before we met."

I stand there, my mind racing to process her words. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and release the worry and the fear. This woman is standing before me, pouring her heart out. He wants to be here, or she wouldn't be before me now. I know that. She's great with my daughter, and if the day comes where this doesn't work, she will know the love of a good woman. Something she's never experienced from any other person I've dated. I know in my heart that's what she is; a good woman.

"What do you say, Camz? Can we make this thing between us official?"

Slowly, I open my eyes. She's watching me, waiting for my answer, I can't seem to find the words, and a lame head nod doesn't seem to be fitting for this moment. It needs more. So I  stand on my tiptoes and I press my lips to hers.  Before I  realize what's happening, Lauren grips my ass and lifts me into the air. On instinct, I wrap my legs around her waist, and lock my arms around her neck, holding on for the ride. She doesn't stop until we're in my room across the hall. Lauren breaks the kiss and sits me on the bed. I watch her as she walks back out the bedroom door. I can hear her footsteps throughout the house. I'm just about to go look for her to see what she's doing when she appears in my doorway. Quietly, she closes the door and turns the lock.