Beyond Home

Camila

I wake up the sound of my daughter's voice. I open my eyes and try to focus on where it's coming from and what she's saying.

"She's sweeping," I hear her say. "You gots a game today?" There's a pause. "You're going to be on TV?" she says, her four-year-old voice full of awe. "You'll have to tell my mommy that. I can't tell time yet."

I stifle my laugh. "Emily." I say, causing her to jump.

She whips her head around to look at me from her spot on the floor just beside my bed. "She's awake, Lo. Tell her about the TV so I can watch you." She then pulls the phone from her ear, and hands it to me, just to take it back. She lifts it back to her ear. "Bye, Lo!" She yells too loudly as if she needs to in order for her to hear her, then hands the phone to me. This time, I'm able to grab it from her hands.

"Hello."

"Morning, beautiful."

"Morning," I say over a yawn. "Aren't you supposed to be on a flight?"

"We're getting ready to board now. I just wanted to call and say good morning to my girls."

Thousands of butterflies flap their wings, ready to take flight in my belly. "You practice today?"

"Nah, not really. We'll stretch, watch some film, but that's about it. Our game is tomorrow night. Coach has us going a day early so we're not jet lagged from traveling."

"More time away," I say aloud without thinking.

"Yeah," she agrees. "I can say it never bothered me until now."

"Really?" I ask.

"I've never really had anyone to miss before. Sure there's my family, and I miss them, but I don't see them every day. But with you and Emily, it's... different."

Those damn butterflies are wreaking havoc. I don't know what to say to that. Well, I do, but blurting our those three little words over the phone isn't the way I want to do it. "Stay safe and have a good game." I know it's a shitty thing to do, to ignore her declaration, but that's the only other thing I can come up with right now.

She chuckles. "Camz, I'm going to talk to you again before the game."

My face heats, and I'm relieved she's not here to witness it. "I just know you're busy and I don't want to distract you."

"Baby, you're not a distraction. Well, you are, but in a good way," she says with a laugh.

"Well, have a safe flight," I amend.

She chuckles. "I'll call you girls when I land."

"Mommy, I wanna say somefing," Emily says.

"Hold on a sec, Lo. Em wants to talk to you."

"Lo, have a safe flight, bye," she says before handing the phone back to me.

"She's something else," she says with laughter in her voice.

"That she is."

"Bye, Camz, I'll talk to you soon," and with that, the line goes dead.

"Mommy, Lo is gonna be on TV. Did she tell you? Did she?" Emily asks excitedly.

"She did. But Mommy has to work and it might be past your bedtime. Why don't we record it and we can watch it the next day?"

"Will I get to see her?"

"You will. We can watch it together the next day. I'm off work all day."

"Yay!"

I'm lucky my daughter is so easygoing. It's easy to steer her through the process from watching the game to helping me make breakfast. Emily helps me make waffles for breakfast. She likes to hit the button on the toaster— this momma has no time for the homemade version. Maybe one day when I work a normal shift, but right now, the task sounds exhausting. Just as I'm placing the last dish in the dishwasher from breakfast, my cell phone rings. I groan when I see it's work, but answer anyway.