A Leaders Struggle (SuLay)

Just act normal

My gaze wondered up to meet Lay's, he smiled that adorable smile that made his dimples prominent on his beautiful face making my heart thumped loudly. That beautiful smile, and the way his eyes crinckled made my stomch flutter.

I blushed and looked away, honestly it was getting harder to stay away from him, it's obvious that a couple of the members have relationships with each other... like Kai and D.O., I mean like come on how more obvious do you have to make it that you two are head over heels for each other, or the more discreet but still obvious Chanbaek.

Even though theses relationships aren't exactly approved of and our managers are constantly getting on to them about skin-ship, I still can't help but wish they could just be allowed to be happy. If it was up to me, I would let them show their love every chance they got, but even though I'm the leader, I still had no power over that.

Which lead me to Lay, my blind spot as I call him. the attraction was small at first, I just wanted to take care of him and protect him, but then my feelings for him started to take a heavier form... i couldn't help myself I completely fell for him, but as the leader I have to protect all of Exo, which means I can't be involved in anything that could come back negatively on the group... even if that means at the price of my own heart.

I glance back up at Lay to find his eyes plastered on the ground and a sad expression on his face. I wished to the deepest parts of my soul that i could just reach out and fold him into my arms and push away whatever bad thoughts where plaguing his mind.
But once again I was the leader and I had to control my emotions, even if it tore me apart to see that look on Lay's face. 'This is for Exo, Suho' I had to remind myself.

I got up off the couch and sighed deeply "guys I'm going to turn in early" I said to the guys who were still watching a movie and scattered around the living room. They grumbled in response, mostly ignoring me as usual.

As I was leaving I caught the sight of D.O. snuggled into Kai on one of the couches and jealously made my chest tighten. My eyes found their way to Lay once again making me sigh 'if only I could have that' I whispered in my head.

I turned to leave but my wrist was caught and I turned with eyebrows raised only to find Lay gazing intently into my eyes.

"Are you ok Su? you've been acting kind of distracted lately" he asked the concern deep in his voice.

Heat spread through my body from the contact of his hand on my wrist and my heart picked up to a startling rate. my gaze briefly wondered down to his lips, how bad I wanted to kiss those full, perfect lips.

I shook my head and pulled my wrist out of his grasp, not missing for a second the disappointment that entered his eyes, and maybe even a little hurt.

"Yeah, I'm fine... just haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately" which was true, but I wasn't going to tell him that it was because Of him.

Lay nodded slightly "oh... ok"

I took in a deep breath to steady my heartbeat and started back down the hallway towards my room, but not before hearing a whispered "goodnight, sleep well" over my shoulder.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I awoke to silence... too much silence. sitting up slowly I looked around the room for my roommate, Chanyeol was no where to be seen which was weird because usually he was up around the room making a ridiculous amount of noise, and being his usual weird self.

Oddly though the room was empty, and I also didn't hear any sounds coming from the hallway, which was almost creepy. usually around this time we would normally have a couple wrestling matches, a couple fashion shows, and even one or two live performances/practices, but it was eerily quiet.