A Leaders Struggle (SuLay)

The Door

~Sehun~

I was unpacking my things and putting them in my dresser when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I retrieved it and checked the I.D nearly dropping my phone when I saw who it was from. My heart pounded rapidly against my chest and I unlocked my phone and stared at the message waiting for me.

From: Doe eyes 💔
To: Sehunnie 💕

How are you? I heard you were in the hospital, you're not pushing yourself to hard are you?

My breath caught in my throat and before I understood what was happening, my fingers moved across the screen typing a reply.

To: Doe Eyes 💔
From: Sehunnie 💕

I'm doing fine, just over exhausted myself

From: Doe Eyes 💔
To: Sehunnie 💕

You need to take better care of yourself, I wouldn't be able to take it of something happened to you.

I sighed looking at the message but then felt hurt and anger seep into my bones.

To: Does Eyes 💔
From: Sehunnie💕

Why would you care? It's clear you didn't take my well being into consideration when you left.

I threw my phone down, done with the whole conversation, I had laid awake at night for weeks after he left trying to figure out what I did wrong, what had happened to make him leave me... but in the end I always came up with the same answer... I'm alone now.

My phone rang again and I looked at it... 'wait, it's ringing?' My phones only rings when someone is... 'oh shit, he's calling me'

All the blood leaves my body and I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach, but once again my body acts on its own. I pick up my phone and tap the screen answering the call. I'm frozen, I can't say anything, I just listen... waiting to hear his voice.

"Sehun?" He asks.

My lip trembles "yeah?" I ask my voice breaking.

He sighs heavily "Sehun, I'm sorry for calling, I know it can't be easy to hear my voice... I just couldn't stand the thought of you mad at me"

Again I don't say anything, to afraid I would lose the little composure I was grasping onto.

"You don't have to say anything, just listen..." he pauses for a second and I give a small "mhm" indicating for him to continue. "Sehun, I know I've hurt everyone by leaving, and I know you guys think I'm selfish and a traitor, but I did what I had to Se, I did what I needed to do. I wasn't happy with the way everything was, so I took a stand, and I'm sorry if that hurt you guys, but I don't regret my actions"

A hot tear scorched my skin as it slid down my cheek "I understand..." I cleared my throat so I wouldn't give away that I was crying "I understand why you did it Luhan, I just don't understand one aspect of it"

He took a deep breath "what?"

"Why did you leave me? Was I so unimportant to you that you left me behind... Not even telling me goodbye?" I asked not caring anymore that he heard the tears in my voice.

He sniffled a few times and took a stabling breath "no, Sehun, it's the exact opposite... you're the reason I stayed for as long as I did, you were the hardest part of leaving. leaving you behind is the only thing I regret, I regret it every day... I would give anything just to be in your arms one more time... and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, but I just couldn't, it was hard enough leaving, but having to see your face as I walked away from you would have destroyed me"