A Cancer Story

Chapter 12

a few weeks go by

You continue to keep the secret from him and somehow manage to hide how sick you are getting.  The medicine is not working and you are only getting worse.  You hear your mom cry herself to sleep almost every night.  You don’t know what to do.  It feels like your life is spiraling out of control and that your life is ending right as it’s just beginning.  You finally had a wig so you could go out and look like you used to for Logan.  The one day you decide to go hang out with him even though you didn’t feel too well.  You knew this was the time you had to tell him that you were dying and how you felt about him.  You had loved him from the moment he held you the night before your surgery and wanted to be with him forever.  He made you feel better on chemo days when you were feeling so terrible and that night before your surgery when you were so scared and he held you and cried into him.  You just felt so secure and safe with him.  

Driving to his house you were still not feeling too well but brushed it off and tried to keep a smile on your face.  You looked at yourself once more in the mirror before getting out of the car.  You looked terrible, like lack of sleep or something.  You knew what it was though, you were dying, you could see it in your eyes.  Last week the doctors had stopped the chemo because it was spreading so terribly fast there was nothing they could do.  You didn’t want to tell Logan at first because you wanted your last moments together to be happy and special and not filled with tears and sadness.  You knocked on the door to his house and his little brother opened the door.  

“hi Logan’s girlfriend” he said

you smiled and let out a small laugh “I’m not his girlfriend”

“but he wants you to be..” he replied “he talks about you aaaalll the tiime.. he LIKES you.. he LOVES you..” his little brother then began to make kissy faces and all these weird movements.  You laughed at his efforts to try and embarrass you or Logan.  Logan came to the door and moved him aside.  

“don’t you have a video game to play or something?” logan asked his brother as he shooed him off.  His brother continued to make kissing noises while walking away.  Logan rubbed the back of his neck “sorry about that… brothers..”

“don’t worry about it..” you smiled

Logan paused for a second lost in another world and then suddenly coming back to reality “oh oh oh.. come in come in..” he said holding open the door

You came in and kicked off your shoes at the door and followed him to the kitchen where his mom was preparing dinner.

“hello!” she said.  “dinner will be ready in an hour.. it’s taco night!”

“cool.. we’re going to go play some video games in my room” Logan said.  He then shoved you off towards his room to avoid any more conversation from his mom.