Mommy what?! [Modern Naruto AU x Reader]

c h a p t e r - s i x

The light hum of the machine coaxed Tadao to sleep, his eyes barely able to stay open as you settled his body into his portable carrier. His fingers curled around the blanket you snuggly tucked him into, and in mere seconds he let his head drop and sleep take over.

Your lips turned up at this, a soft smile taking over- your eyes crinkling with at the motion.

God.

He was so beautiful.

Your one and only achievement, you liked to say. How you created something so gorgeous was beyond you. Maybe it was something you did during your pregnancy? And all this time you thought you were doing things wrong- how wrong you were. He came out perfect.

More than perfect.

He was what you needed. Your rock. He grounded you- and you needed that, desperately. Before you would have been appalled at the idea, somebody grounding you- keeping you from doing what you loved? And a son at that? No- hell no.

You never wanted a family, at least not yet. You had no care for marriage and kids wasn't something you ever planned for- or ever wanted.

You could never see yourself staying with the same person for too long. Stay and not grow bored. Very shallow of you, but you wouldn't lie to yourself. You wouldn't pretend. You refused. Because you've seen countless relationships fall apart. People grow apart. Who's to say marriage will uphold better?

You would never succumb yourself to the depths of falling out of love.

Because that was what marriage was- at least, in your eyes. A pact tied by law disguised as a vow. It leaves you with two people who will slowly start to loathe each other over the years, until finally, divorce- or worse, they stay together. Be it for the kids or the image they have to uphold- or the judgement they might receive otherwise.

Your environment influences you. You agree.

Your parent's marriage was something doomed to fail from the start. How it's still surviving after all these years proved maybe they were destined to be together. Destined to live their lives detesting one another and clawing at each other's throats.

And kids, they only proved to further the problem. They kept you from doing the things you loved- they kept you from experiencing the world.

They keep you grounded. With kids, you never truly know who you are because you've never gone out and explored that part of you. They kept you from finding yourself. The real you.

That was how you viewed it.

But now, looking back on your views, you could only laugh.

As if you were happy. Happy dropping anything and everything- in the name of exploring, as you had called it back then. Experiencing with booze and drugs might have given you a high, but it didn't make you happy. And it certainly didn't help you find yourself- whatever bullcrap that was.

All you did was drop things- school, family, friends, hell- even your fuckbuddies got the short end of the stick. One never lasting longer than 2 weeks, not even able to reoccur for a quick one (yes, even the good ones).

Life bored you.

You needed something new. You could never stay with one person for too long. Sakura and Ino were known victims of this, how you'd left them in a heartbeat to get some action- some real fun.

Friends who connected you with other friends- and those friends would then move you along to another group of friends and the cycle went on. There was never a 'fixed' group.