rick sanchez x reader

Risky Business

"I found Jell-O. Can you sneak your mom's vodka?" Summer said over the phone. "Yes, she does, I saw it in your laundry room. Listen, you can't both be in denial about it. Okay, bye." I chill on the kitchen bench behind her, coughing to get her attention. I hold up a massive bottle of vodka and take a sip, swallowing it and feeling the burn hit my throat.

"Nice." She nods.

"Summer, Y/N, you can't throw a party! Remember what mom said?" Morty panics, entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, if anything gets messed up, you and grandpa Rick get punished. I'm only a human being." Summer bats her eyes innocently as Rick enters and snags my vodka, taking a gulp and heading to the fridge.

"Rick! Tell Summer and Y/N they can't have a party." Morty begs.

"Ugh, Summer and Y/N. You can't have a party." Summer and I roll our eyes. "Because I'm having a party, bitches!"

"What? Rick you can't!" Morty panics again.

"What do you mean you're having a party? Are some glip glops from the third dimension going to come over and play cards or something?" Summer mocks.

"Glip glop? You're lucky a Traflorkian doesn't hear you say that." Rick says leaning on the bench next to me.

"Is that like their N-Word?" I chuckle.

"It's like the N-word and the C-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews." I giggle at their antics.

"Listen, I think the four of us could just have a nice time, like just hanging out, and doing a little bonding-"

"Screw that! This is my chance to gain some footing with the cool kids." I raise my eyebrow.

"That's why you party?" I scoff. "Boy, you really are 17."

"Why do you party?" Summer asks in interest.

"To get shit-faced." I say, my mouth around the vodka's neck. 

"Grandpa Rick?"

"To get wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son!" Rick and I laugh together and I take another pre-shot for tonight.

"Just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome ones." Summer demands.

"Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away from my canapes." I hop of the counter and snag one.

"You bitch." Rick growls.

"Canape whore." I insult back. Rick and I have a stare off and Rick breaks first. "Ha!"

*   *   *

I stand in the corner, chugging a couple of beers so my anxiety doesn't kick in during the party. I head towards the door to check out who's arrived. 

"Grandpa!" Summer's yelling took me out of my people watching. Rick spots me and takes my hand so I can meet his friend.

"Birdperson!" Rick cheers.

"I am pleased there is no emergency." Birdperson greets.

"Oh, there's an emergency alright. A pussy emergency! When's the last time you got laid, 'pers?" Rick puts his arm around Birdperson.

"It has been a... challenging mating season for birdperson." He admits. "Who is this lovely creature?" My eyes widen when I realize he's talking to me.

"Oh, thats Y/N. She's mine." Rick winks, snaking his arm around my waist. "Anyways, it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah. Go have some fun out there birdp-bird-birdperson." Rick leads Birdperson into the house while keeping his hold on me. When I turn to question him, Morty joins us.