i can't escape the way i love you / finch cortez x reader

i can't escape the way i love you

Based off: I love you by Billie Eilish
A/n: I failed a math quiz recently so this is lowkey me just self projecting.
There's an alarming absence of Finch content on this website and I don't understand.
Finch is hella underrated.
If you pick up on the Skam references I threw in you're the OG:)
hugs and peace signs -Blondie

It's not true
Tell me I've been lied to
Crying isn't like you
Oh-oh-oh

Finch's POV
"It's been great talking to you but I've got to go." I smiled and hurried away from Mrs. Turner before she could tell me about another one of her granddogs. One of the downsides of living in a small apartment complex was the extremely nosy and talkative neighbors. It's not that I don't like Mrs. Turner, it's just that a guy can only see so many pictures of chihuahuas before they all start to look the same. Also the Chinese food was getting cold. Once orange chicken has been in the microwave it isn't the same.
"Y/n I'm home!" The silence that followed my statement was no surprise. Y/n was famous for retreating to her room until the many projects that come with the College experience were finished. I knocked on her bedroom door. When there was no answer I opened it. I expected Y/n to be asleep with a book in her lap, or with her headphones on typing furiously. Instead all I saw was a bundle of blankets that seemed to have a face. Her eyes were half shut and red, like she'd been crying.
"Are you okay?" I hurried towards the bed and she pointed at her open laptop.
"I got a 48." She said bleakly.
"Out of?"
"100"
Ouch. Y/n excelled at most aspects of academics. Math being the exception. I knew how hard she studied for that quiz. I spent many hours going over formulas and problems with her until she seemed semi-confident in her abilities. Seeing it all crash and burn broke my heart a little. Although her feelings were valid, I was a bit confused. Y/n was usually unfazed by a bad grade. However, she also tended to keep things bottled up. This quiz must have been what pushed her over the edge.
"Come here sweetheart." I held out my arms and she crawled into them. "It's just one quiz. The actual test isn't for another couple weeks. I'll help you study and we can fix all of your mistakes."
"Thank you Finch, it's just-" Her sentence was interrupted by sobs. I held her closer to me, hoping to take some of her sadness away.

What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through
Oh-oh-oh

Your POV
I felt pathetic.
I felt bad that I had made Finch worry about me.
I felt stupid.
I felt like a coward. Why couldn't I tell him. He was one of the people closest to me, I have to tell him. But how could I when I was terrified that he would forget about me.
"Finch?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to Norway for 2 months." There. I said it. I hid my face in his chest, doing everything in my power to avoid his eyes.
"I love you." He said it so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.
The rush of emotions and adrenaline made me laugh outright.

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say "I love you"
I love you and I don't want to
Oh-oh-oh

Finch's POV
She's leaving. For two months. My mind lost the ability to process simple concepts and all I could think about was how I loved her. And how I would never get the chance to tell her. So I said it. Because she was going to go to Norway and have the time of her life. She was going to find new friends and a new roommate. She would forget about me and move on. But I'd be stuck here. Missing and loving her.
"Ah, I mean that's great, when are you leaving."
"In three weeks." Y/n's face was pressed against me so her words were muffled but I had no problem understanding her. She was going to be gone before I knew it.

Up all night on another red eye
I wish we never learned to fly
I-I-I

Three Weeks Later
Your POV
"Do you have enough sweatshirts?"
"Finch I took half of your collection, I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about. Do you want one back?" Finch insisted on helping me pack by giving me a good chunk of his closet. He said it was because Norway would be colder than here.  I let my imagination wonder, until it led me back to the night he told me he loved me. That moment played over and over in my mind until I had overanalyzed every detail. "Here, at least take this.." I handed him my second favorite hoodie. (The first being the one he gave me) and he hugged it.
"I will treasure it forever." He said only half joking.
"You better!" I laughed enjoying the smile he gave me a little too much. "Off to the airport."
"Ok but first, coffee."
I've always heard people say they have a "one track mind" but I only understood it as I sat down in the passenger seat of Finch's car.
Finch.
He was all I could think about. In the end only one thought was consistent. I was leaving and I was going to miss Finch like crazy. I'm going to miss his voice and his face and his hugs. Our movie nights and breakfasts at Denny's. I spend the entirety of the car ride reliving my favorite memories of us.
Us.
There wouldn't be an us anymore. I hold back my tears because I don't want my last moments with him to be tainted with bittersweet sadness.
I plug my phone into the aux cord and Best Friend by Rex Orange County starts playing. Finch perks up as soon as he hears the first line.
"It's our song!" He says giddily.
Finch and I became friends due to our similar music taste and mutual friends. This song just happened to be easy to dance to and seemed fit our relationship. At least in the beginning. Now I wasn't so sure.
I wanted to be more than just Finch's best friend, no matter how much I denied it.