One More Light

Chapter 7

'C'mon Naruto, get a hold of yourself. Why are you crying? This is embarrassing...' Naruto chastised himself however the tears would not stop. Gaara could feel Naruto's panic and pain, as if it were a tangible thing and had taken to rubbing soothing circles on the ninjas back. He wasn't sure why, but he began to hum. This, inexplicable, helped Naruto slow his breathing and subdued some of the shaking. It seemed like forever, but Naruto began to relax and Gaara felt this was a good time to begin the conversation he knew Naruto was dreading.

Naruto tensed himself for the blow as Gaara took a deep breath and began speaking. He was waiting for the "Are you okay?" that everyone always asked, and he was armed with his usual "I'm fine." However, Gaara did not ask him this question which only shocked Naruto further. Instead Gaara started with "I understand."

Naruto stared blankly at his friend as he held Naruto at arm's length and stared with sincerity into his eyes. "I understand your pain Naruto. I understand that you feel the need to wear that mask to protect everyone. But just know that you do not need that mask while you are with me. I see you and I understand. I may not agree with how you are handling it, but I do understand."

Naruto was stunned. He had not thought anyone could understand or that anyone would be able to speak to him with such compassion, free from the judgement and ridicule he had been prepared to face. "I... I don't understand." Naruto stuttered, feeling the pain bash against his barrier in his mind. "I don't understand all this pain, all this noise. I don't know how to be anymore." Gaara looked on, not an ounce of pity in his eyes but a deep understanding. "We will figure it out together. I will not abandon you to your pain just like you did not leave me to mine." With this statement, Gaara offered his hand to Naruto and pulled him up. He was still rather weak so Gaara supported him and they continued their journey to Suna. Both Naruto and Gaara had their minds racing, one thinking of the problems he was causing and the other planning solutions and opportunities to reignite the light.

Suna was still a day's travel from where Gaara chose to rest. He had picked a hot spring, hidden from the path and visit by very few. It was a secret to the highly ranked in the land of wind and very few had been lucky to stumble across it. Gaara felt this was the perfect place to start his plan. Step one: Evaluation of the situation. For this step to be successful, Gaara needed to see the whole extent of the situation. He knew Naruto would be reluctant, but he was prepared to start the healing right here, right now.

"A hot spring Gaara? Shouldn't we just keep going?" Naruto asked nervously, pulling at the sleeves of his jacket. "We need to rest and relax besides the winds are blowing a sandstorm this way, we would not make it through anyway, so we may as well stop here." Gaara could feel the unease radiate off Naruto and watched silently as the mask fell back into place. "Well alright." Naruto said, beaming his fake grin. Faster than the eyes could see, Gaara had jumped to stand directly in front of Naruto and whispered in his ear, "Remember, I see you. There is no need to pretend with me." He pulled himself back and watched as Naruto's mask crumbled and the sombre look reappeared. "Much better," Gaara mumbled as he ushered Naruto to the springs, "now it's time to silence all that noise."

Naruto took forever to get in the hot springs. Gaara lost his patience and decided to send some sand in to speed him up. As Naruto ran from the sand whip that Gaara had used to herd him out, he could almost make out a smile on the sad ninjas face... almost. Naruto quickly dropped his towel and jumped into the hot spring. Gaara's eyes were faster and noted the too thin body and the cuts and scars which covered him. His body looked like a tiger, covered in stripes. Naruto's face reddened as he noticed Gaara staring at his cuts. Gaara shook his head and responded, "Don't be embarrassed, every scar is part of the war you are fighting. I still see you." Naruto nodded his head, unsure of any other way to respond. Instead he lent his head back against the edge and let his mind drift, further into the darkness, further away from his friend. Gaara watched on, his concern growing but also his plan taking form.

'First things first, I need to get him eating and drinking properly. His complete lack of self-care will kill him if I focus on the self-harm first' Gaara thought as he examined the ninja before him. He noticed Naruto had drifted off into a peaceful, almost meditative, state and continued his examination. There were cuts all up his arms, ranging from deep to shallow. This discovery did not shock him. However, being able to count his ribs and noticing the various bruises over his body, it became apparent that Naruto had stopped his healing and had exacerbated his wounds frequently. Gaara began to wonder when this had started and whether it pre-dated Jirayah's demise. Gaara began to wonder if he could talk to the Kyuubi by sharing some of his chakra with Naruto. He still possessed a small amount of Shakaku's chakra, so he was willing to try, if it meant getting the whole truth.

Gaara reached out his hand, pooling his special chakra into his fingertips and gently placed his palm on Naruto's stomach, right upon the seal. Naruto didn't even stir.

'About time you came to see me, Kazekage brat.' The Kyuubi greeted Gaara. "I was not even sure such a thing was possible but the situation is far worse than I thought and I needed to know how it started." Gaara responded. The Kyuubi looked downright upset as he relayed the story of how Naruto developed his coping mechanism.

'It started when he was just a kid. The villagers used to throw rocks at him and one day he realised the pain was better than being ignored. Pain has always been a part of his life. After he found out I was inside him, his pain became self-inflicted. It grew worse over the years and slowly his real smile was replaced by that mask. Very few people ever really got to know the real Naruto but Jirayah was the only one who knew everything. When Naruto heard about his demise, something inside him broke and even the small amount of light that made it through my cage disappeared. He is lost in the darkness and nothing, not anger, not pain, nothing is pulling him out. I don't think even he realises what's happening. There is this constant question in his head, getting louder and louder with each passing second. The question is; who cares if one more light goes out? He doesn't even realise he is planning a suicide attempt. So far, you are the only person to push past his mask since Jirayah. Do not fail him. I will do my part, all I ask is that you do yours." Gaara nodded and the connection faded.

Naruto still lay undisturbed but Gaara noted the tears running down his cheeks and how tense his body had become. He decided it was time to pull Naruto out of his darkness now that he knew the real extend. Being no expert, Gaara decided the best way to rouse him was to begin a playful water fight and splashed the water across Naruto's face.