Ted looked up at the casket from his seat in the front row. He had cried all the tears already. He had known this was the endgame. It still hadn't really hit him, though, until he had seen Tracy in that coffin. She's really gone. He slowly got up from his seat, placed one gentle hand on the now closed casket, and walked slowly out of the small funeral home sanctuary. Marshall and Lily were waiting, trying to corral their three children, Marvin, Daisy, and Ted. Barney stood in his impeccable suit holding a very asleep Ellie, and Robin held the hands of Penny and Luke, both of whom looked like Ted felt. He had thought about keeping them away from this, but knew he couldn't. It wouldn't have been right. Though only nine and seven, they had grown up quite a bit over the last year. Ted and Tracy had been open and honest with them from the beginning of her diagnosis. They saw their dad walking towards them and ran to him, and the little family cried together in the small lobby as slowly his friends came and formed a hug around them, crying as well.
As they broke apart, Ted looked at his kids. "Penny, Luke, you ok?"
Penny, every inch her mother's daughter, looked him in the eye, and said, "Of course we are, Dad. We've got you." Ted smiled at her, then looked up at his friends.
"You guys coming back to the house? My mom put together some refreshments and stuff."
Marshall smiled and said "Of course we are, buddy. We'll follow you."
Ted ushered Penny and Luke into the back of his car, and then made his way back to the house he had worked so hard to fix. They walked in to find a few others already milling about, looking at photo albums, and talking. Penny and Marvin, being the oldest of the "cousins", took the kids into the playroom, as Ted went to find his mom.
"Mom, we're here."
Virginia rushed over to him and hugged her son tightly. "How are you doing?"
Ted quirked his signature half smile at her, "I'm getting there. I've had time to get used to this." His voice caught in his throat at this, but he caught himself before going into a full on cry. "How is the food and stuff coming? Do you need help?"
Lily came up from behind him, tapped him on the shoulder, and said "You go, sit and talk to people. I'll help."
He smiled at Lily, gave her his thanks, and went to the living room to visit with his guests, and reminisce over his bride.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Later that night, after the kids had been put to bed, Ted sat alone in his study, holding the yellow umbrella that had so intertwined his and Tracy's life together. He cried silent tears as he thought of the eleven years he had Tracy in his life, and now she was gone. As he held tightly to that umbrella, he heard the shuffling of small feet, and turned around to see little Luke shyly looking at the floor. "Hey, buddy, why are you out of bed?" Ted asked as he hurriedly wiped the tears from his face.
"I miss mommy," Luke replied, the sadness in his little face rending Ted's heart in two yet again.
"Come here," said Ted. "You want to sleep with me tonight?" Luke nodded, and Ted scooped him up and went to his bed, silently grateful that he would not have to be alone.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Three weeks later, Ted walked into his office at Columbia University to gather his things, as he had tendered his resignation shortly before Tracy's death. He had promised her that for the first year after her death he would be a stay at home father and work on his architectural designs. As he packed his things into his car for the drive back to Westchester, he smiled at the thought of spending time with his kids while doing the work that he loved. The kids were in school that day, however, so he decided to spend a little time in the city before they got home. One drink at MacLaren's couldn't hurt, right? He pulled out his phone and called his friends to see if they could join him , and only Lily had answered.
"Sure, Ted! That sounds fun. Give me a half hour." she said quickly.
"Awesome. See you then." Ted drove to a lot nearby, locked his car, and took a cab to MacLaren's.
"Hey, Lily. Marshall! You came too!"
"Yeah, the court is in recess for the month, so I thought I'd tag along." Marshall said, grinning.
They got their drinks and sat down, noting with not just a bit of sheepishness that they were the oldest patrons in the bar. "Nothing makes you feel as old as going to a bar in the city," Lily laughed, but quickly sobered as she fidgeted with an envelope in her hands.
"What's that?" Ted questioned, as Lily cleared her throat.
"Well, its a letter. For you... from Tracy."
Ted stared wide eyed as he gulped down the swig of beer he had just taken. "What?"
"Its a letter from Tracy to you. She gave it to me about three months ago, when she knew she wasn't -" Lily couldn't continue, as the tears pooled in her eyes. She silently handed him the letter.
"I don't know if I should read this here." Ted choked out.
"We don't want you to be alone when you read it, though," said Marshall, holding back tears of his own. "Come to our house."
They left the bar and took a taxi to the home on Central Park West that they had purchased just two years ago, wanting a home befitting Marshall's status as a Supreme Court Justice. They walked into the living room, sat down, and Ted sighed as he took out the letter. With a final look across the coffee table at Marshall and Lily, he began to read.
Teddy,
If you have this letter in your hands, it means I am gone. Go ahead, cry, I'll wait.... Finished? Good. Now listen here, Mr. Mosby. You have my permission to grieve for as long as you need, but remember what I said at the inn, don't live in your stories. Move forward. I don't know what form that will take for you, but I hope and pray that you will. I will miss you. I will miss your smile, the way you always go big for me, and the way you love our kids. I will always love you, Theodore Evelyn Mosby. Tell Penny and Luke that I love them more than life, and will miss them so much. And Ted? Know that, in time, you will fall in love again. You are too good a man not to. You're quite the catch. So when it happens, let it happen. And go big for her too. But not too soon.... Hehe. Good bye, Ted.
With more love than I could possibly express in a short letter,
Tracy
Ted looked up at his two best friends in the world through watery eyes, and smiled. "Thanks, guys. I mean it. Thank you, for everything." Without a word, Marshall and Lily joined him on the couch, and hugged him, all three knowing that in time, everything would be all right.
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YOU ARE READING
All We Fight For
RomanceThis is not my story. All credit goes to the original author tourniquet1980 on fanfiction.net.com This is a story detailing the years between Tracy's death, and the finale, and beyond.