Previously known as Querencia.
Poets, as often as they say, they said the truth. Love cannot be controlled or planned. It comes like rain on a sunny day; an unseasoned downpour. Like a gust of harsh wind on a heated day. It comes with a painful epi...
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We are all fools in love
*** As the night fell and the clouds turned a shade of deep blue and black, whispering among themselves, pitying the one their eyes are stuck upon, her. Syra's thoughts took a turn for bad; all sorts of uninvited and unneeded what-ifs were occupying her head, her lamentation knew no bound after these thoughts. Everything around her was held questionable for her. It had been officially 48 hours to her out of the blue marriage and her father's heart attack. The air of gloom surrounded every inch of her and she wished to have exchanged places with her father. Unfortunately, for her, no such act can take place. One cannot exchange places with anyone. Her lament tears were endless. She was making herself ill with the amount of tears she had been shedding. Her cordiality towards these happenings was long gone. Her cordiality towards Shaan was long gone; vanished.
She now sees him as an imprudent, selfish and disgraceful for all kinds of humans in history. The word hate compared to nothing of what she felt for him, it was loathing, proper, and utter loathing. She despised his mere presence now. Oh how she wished to have seen him like her, so drowned in sadness and gloominess. But she cannot wish for such storms to go through someone else. She cannot wish ill for him no matter how much loathe she held for his existence, no one deserves what she had to go through, such lamentation and unhappiness was a curse.
"I pray to never encounter such human again in my life." She joined her hands in a pray-like manner and prayed. Her despise against him was tremendously huge. Her eyes were not shedding any tears anymore. The night as it came, was profoundly dark. Bringing her demons back to torment her, already tormented soul.
Shahmeer on the other hand was still in the hospital. He did leave, but for a few minutes; to change his clothes and come back clean.
He was feeling uneasy and his heart was beating fast. He doesn't know why is it happening or for what reason, he just knows that his anxiety is reaching a level higher than usual. His hands were cold. He was sweating cold. As he sat down to compose himself, he saw Waleed Hussain's heartbeat was wild. Instantly forgetting about himself he rushed to call the doctors. Soon enough two doctors with two nurses were present in the room and he was told to wait outside. Pacing around in a to and fro manner, he just thought all the worst possibilities. His heart was not finding it's peace, it hadn't found it since the incident. No matter how much ever he tells himself, 'what happened was for good.' He cannot bring himself to believe it, this phrase, this line is only words for him. For he knows, what may have happened for good, but what will happen will not be good. For he knows, Syra Noor will never accept this marriage the way he did; she will never accept him.
Moreover he had not even told her about his demons, the one who has been haunting his existence ever since he turned 20. Ones on whom he cannot turn his back on. He knows once his true self will be revealed to her, she will deny to accept anything of him and him. She will deny to ever have a relationship with such a monster.
He barely even tolerate himself how can he let her go through the misery. He knows, if he ever showed what he truly is to her, she will never be his. Nor that she is now, bound by paper surely does not mean bounded forever. Her heart will never be his and he had made himself believe this truth, that is not really true but for him it is the eternal source that would stop him from breaking in front of her. For him, he thinks her heart was given to another already. He, who ran away. But he does not know how wrong his thoughts were. His prejudices were harming him internally.
"Ya Allah, why did you do this to her? We're you punishing her for what I did? I don't even know if that was actually my fault. But now I think I do. And I'm so sorry for hurting someone in the most cruel way possible but I cannot live with this pain. I need to put an end to my agony, show me a path please." He looked up and muttered. For him asking for something with truth in your heart and no contemptuous designs will be it. And he did asked and prayed and questioned without wanting anything ill for someone else.
