Bizarre Love Triangle (lgbtq+)

12 CRUSHING

It was two weeks before school started when Elia came back from Israel. When I saw her my heart skipped a beat. Old habit, I told myself. I didn't know how to tell her about Noel and me – not really knowing what I still felt about her.

We sat on her bed, our backs against the wall, our legs touching.

"I didn't out myself to my grandparents," Elia said, and it sounded like a confession.

I nodded not sure what she wanted me to say.

"But I told them that I want to be in charge of who I am with. And that that person would be someone I met on my own terms, not theirs."

My eyes widened in surprise and admiration. "That was really brave."

She laughed. "It certainly felt like it at that moment but afterwards, I realized that I made a huge fuzz about something that wasn't even that big of a deal. They said that they had always trusted me with my choices and only wanted to be of help. After that, they stopped introducing me to strangers."

"That's nice of them but be proud of yourself for speaking up! That takes guts!" I nudged my shoulder against hers in a way of saying "Well done!"

"Thanks." She smiled at me, a wide smile, but her face suddenly changed. She continued more quietly, her voice only a whisper: "I told them about that person I really like and how I always chickened out before I could tell them how I really felt."

I suspected what would follow, but the thoughts racing through my head made it impossible for me to interrupt her.

"So – eh – here it goes. I like you. I can't stop looking at you when you're around and I was about to kiss you that afternoon before Nasreen came in and I know I do dumb stuff like that Twilight-thing – I mean that was just insensitive, I didn't listen to you and I didn't care about the things that were important to you and I am really sorry about that and I promise I'm gonna do better."

I stared at her, still not thinking clearly. A lump started building in my throat and then I started to cry.

"Oh god, did I do something wrong?" She looked at me anxiously.

I shook my head, but it took me some time before I could speak, "I had a crush on you for most of the past year but during the summer..."

"Oh, I see." She swallowed. "Yeah, okay, eh, it's okay. Maybe I can meet her one day. Must be an amazing girl when you choose her over this," she pointed at her body, trying to cover up her discomfort with jokes. But I couldn't laugh.

I bit my lip. "It's Noel."