The runaway

Chapter seven

I woke up, I ate, I slept.

Bats has been making me go to a trusted league therapist who is a retired hero and specializes in trauma, or more specifically PTSD.

He thinks I'm doing well, I've been able to differentiate each day three ways, there's the Good day where I feel emotion and am doing well, the middle ground days (which are most days) which indicate either I'm okay or I'm completely numb to every emotion, then there's the bad days those are the ones where I get panic attacks, I have breakdowns, and the numbness can last for days.

Today I woke up, and I just had that feeling, that horrible dreadful feeling that you just know something bad is going to happen, not necessarily to anyone else, like you'll have a terrible panic attack or a breakdown. Today was a bad day, I could feel it.

Taking a deep breath, I dressed in civvies, basically a dark blue sweatshirt under a black jacket, some dark wash jeans, and my trusty sunglasses. My converse were fit snugly on my feet when I walked out the door to my room, where in the kitchen Meghan was making some cookies.

I didn't say anything, just got some cereal, and sat at the table.

You see, I didn't really tell anyone when I got a panic attack, just dealt with it as it came, why bring it up if it's already been dealt with?

My hands were shaking violently.

Yep

Definitely one of my bad days.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to put off the inevitable, I counted five things I could touch, five things i could hear, and five things I could see. It was a grounding technique that didn't take much, but could help me calm down from a mild panic attack, the big ones? Well they required me to drown my thoughts out with music so I couldn't think about the trauma. It helped me stay grounded in reality and not go back.....there, it helped me focus on what I was doing, since I knew the music, I could ignore it but my mind wouldn't wander because it took concentration to ignore music.

Anyway, I started eating my wheatios when Meghan started screaming and whimpering.

Quickly I got up to assess the situation, but it was just her so I rushed over and took the fallen girl who was clutching her head and held her to my chest, shushing and gently rocking her.

After a few minutes she stopped and looked up at me concerned.

"What happened?" I asked. Suddenly she looked very guilty.

"I didn't mean to do it I swear, but I felt that you were very distraught and I guess that subconsciously I reached out to you. How do you keep that much pain inside your head?" She asked almost staring at me in wonder "I definitely didn't get to far but all I felt was cold and darkness and so much pain"

"Hey I was supposed to be the one comforting you, remember?" I said, avoiding her questions. I did warn her not to try to enter my mind. It wasn't a place even I wanted to be.

She laughed, and it was so pure, that I started laughing too. "But seriously nightwing, it might help to talk to someone" she said quietly.

I nodded. "And I totally am, Bats is making me see a shrink and everything" I joked.

"It's okay to need help, everyone needs it" I chuckled.

"Like you need help with those cookies?" She gasped realizing what I had said.

"My cookies!" She quickly levitated the cooked batch out of the oven, only slightly burnt this time.

We spent the rest of the day making cookies together, I still felt that panic attack itch in the back of my head, but Meghan proved to be a good distraction.

Wally made an appearance at some point, actually grabbing a bowl, he filled it to the brim and sped away before we could stop him.

Meghan and I laughed, and she asked me questions about being human, apparently she'd gotten all her information on earth from some old tv show that she used to watch.

Kaldur came in, interrupting my take on what I guessed high school would be like.

"Nightwing, it is good to see you laughing, but the team has a mission, I apologize for the interruption."

"Nah Kal, you're good, Meghan and I were about to put these on the cooling rack, but we'll come to the mission room as soon as we're done"

With a polite nod, Kaldur left, although Meghan began to giggle.

"What?" I asked.

"You've got flour on your nose" she started giggling even harder, when I checked my nose to see nothing on it before she wiped flour on my cheek

"Oh I'm so getting you back for that" I wiped the flour off, and took a handful of flour throwing it at her, and I hit her in the shoulder.

"It's so on!" She yelled before taking her handful and chucking it.

Soon enough we were both covered in flour, and laughing on the floor.

"Ok, I'm going to get dressed, and then I'll come back and help clean up, I imagine that bats isn't going to find this as funny as we do" I laughed.

"It's okay, I'm already pretty much ready, I'll clean up, you go"

I double checked with her that it was alright, and left, maybe everything would be okay after all.