I'm not Gay, I'm Homosexual

On Love

And we arrived at the subject that makes us humans, the ability to love.

But what do we understand by love? And when I say love I mean that feeling that makes us want to be with somebody and create a "couple", a romantic partner (s).

Everybody seems to have their own interpretation of love and many of them are far from the idea of romantic love we have seen in movies, book, etc and which many of us may still dream about where monogamy, tenderness, understanding, passion, communication and the goal of growing and getting older together are constantly present in both brains and souls.

The world has changed and this "old fashion" view of romantic love has been replaced by companionship, camaraderie and in most of cases for a very efficient accomplice.

I have heard people framing the circumstances within which they "may fall in love": he needs to have a great body, or be well-endowed, o being extremely smart, or having money, etc.

The nature of human beings is that whereas we believe or not in romantic love we do know that we do not want to be alone, we feel better having somebody by our side.

Being part of consumer society we have replaced the need of loving for the need of having with such impetus that it is not unusual that we understand possession as love which has made us want more and more of that that satiates our immediate and short-live desires: be it clothing, food, objects or bodies.

So if we mix that fear of not being alone with that desire of having as much as we can at the same time over and over again that lead us to the decision of finding a partner that we may like, even we may feel affection for but he must have the same hunger than us in consuming and indulging.

It is not about growth it is about having, discarding and having again and for that certainly a romantic partner would not do, an accomplice is much better and if you can have sex with him when you fancy then happy days.

So, is this love? Is this contemporary love?

For the "gay community," the concept of romantic love was abandoned a while ago and replaced by the belief that everything must be fun for us. It was an omen when the word for describing fun in the old times "gay" was chosen for describing our lifestyle.

For being in love you need to be keen to offer commitment, patience; it is a long term feeling, you have to work hard on it and the rewards may not come immediately.

Since the sexual revolution and the gay "awakening", like stubborn kids, we have been rebelling against everything that we don't see as "gay"; it did not matter if parts of the old social and cultural habits were good, no, we would not have any of that. We would be free, and joyful and free.

What the gay community never understood is that there is freedom and there is abuse of freedom and their real flag was not about freedom it was about abuse and exaggeration: drugs, sex, mannerism, body cult, penis size everything was about "the more the better, the bigger the better". Obviously with this in mind, there is no chance that a demanding concept like romantic love would have survived and at that point is when concepts like "camaraderie" "companionship" or "accomplice" became the perfect meaning for contemporary love, even better for "gay love".

Is this the real essence of what we humans are?

Is our essence to "love" lightly or "love" deeply?

Should be love understood as our willingness to restrain or to let your desires inundate and define your life?

I guess every group of our society will have a different answer to these questions. For straight people has been the case; we are living a historic moment where more and more heterosexuals and gay people are thinking alike; where both sides are claiming the right to have as much fun as they want and to "love" (love lightly?) whoever they choose to.

Just time will tell the strength and solidity of this love or if this was a failed concept.