I'm not Gay, I'm Homosexual

I want to finish this book by explaining why I chose its title.

Since I was a kid I was attracted to men. If what the Kinsey's report says is correct, I belong to that small part of the population that is either 100 % heterosexual or 100 % homosexual.

Most humans show different degrees of attraction to one sex or another during their lifetime, expressed in different ways. Some let it flourish others kill it when it arises due to social, religious, cultural or political pressures.

I never have felt attracted sexually to women, I do appreciate their beauty and the charming and even alluring aspect of their femininity (beautiful to see).

The acknowledge of this never made me feel that they were a model to follow, to copy. It was just not in me. I'm a man, I enjoy being a man, and I love men.

Don't think either that I'm a Rambo or a John Wayne. I'm just a normal, standard guy.

When I started my social life in the gay world, I discovered so many things I did not appreciate: induced feminization, constant verbal abuse, sexual shaming, drugs, abuse of the system, an attitude of vengeance among some of the members against the world, etc that it made me feel I did not belong there, what was even more important I do not want to be part of that.

I have lived in different countries and the situation repeats itself, it has become omnipresent and that is why without any doubt we can talk nowadays of a gay identity that has little to do with being homosexual.

Let's see in detail some of their characteristics

Hypocrite approach

On one side the gay community claims equality, tolerance, and respect must be a right for all members of the LGBT+ community regardless of how they choose to express their sexuality or gender. Up to here, it sounds absolutely fantastic.

But...

Among its members there is no equality, there is no respect, there is no kindness when it comes to how they treat each other in more personal environments, the foulest, offensive words are used and celebrated on a daily basis.

Drugs

How it is possible that this is being seen as "normal" that you need chemicals for being able to interact with others or for having sex? and more importantly that the use of drugs is being endorsed and validated by the vast majority of the comunity. 

Feminisation

Why do we have to treat each other using feminine nouns or adjectives? There is a small group that identifies themselves in this way. If they want to be addressed using female names, that is their right; what is not correct is assuming that being "gay" implies all of us have to identify with female terminology, expressions, behavior or outlook. 

Sexual Shaming

Being a versatile or a bottom is used as a term for offending or diminishing others. Tops are seeing as being at the top of the food chain. It is ironic if you thing that being 100% top does not necessarily mean you are homosexual or gay... It may be just pure lust or homoerotism. 

Body Shaming

Adoration for well-formed bodies, it seems everybody wants to be with one of that has one bringing a very general shallow approach when considering the "qualities" a partner should have. 

Abuse of Freedom

I was working in Germany at the time and we had drinks after work. There was the English Manager, the British Manager, an employee of the British company and me (the consultant)

The employee started to talk about being gay and how he loves to suck. Yes, you read correctly... in a business gathering, he said that... adding that he was tired of hiding his sexuality as if hiding one's sexuality was synonymous with vulgarity and lack of taste.

Of course, everybody was silent and this caused him to say more outrageous things. If his boss would have reprimanded him or sack him for his totally out of order behavior, he would go legally against the company accusing them of homophobia. That kind of person he was.

The same situation happened when a group of professionals was invited to Germany for an event. One of them was this kind of "without inhibitions gay" he did a very similar thing in front of the president of the company who invited us. He repeated the same sentence, "he was not going to hide his sexuality". Really?

Not long ago I went to a very well known professional gay network event and one of the directors was making jokes with clearly sexual connotations. 

Such a lack of professionalism and respect. What you do in bed or expressing your sexual fantasies should not take part in a professional meeting at least you are a prostitute and you are in a convention of prostitutes where talking about sex is talking about business.

The gay community has lost that sense of properness and respect. Everything has a place.  Be you straight, gay, pansexual, etc.  

Those, among other things, is that what defines the gay community and that is why I do not feel identified with it; yes, I love men, yes, I believe in freedom of choice regarding whatever you want to be but most, most of all I do believe in respect for everybody's choice and how you don't have any right to bring them to your world just so you can feel good, that just shows how bad deep down you feel about yourself. Be yourself and let the others be. The Gay community should not behave like a gang, it should be a space for growth, acceptance, and values. 

That is why...

I'm not Gay, I'm Homosexual.