can i go back - markhyuck

don't leave me

if you feel regret, please don't.
i just want you not to be sad.
be happy and continue with your life
just to let you know
i will always love you,
even when im gone.
i really love you from the bottom of my heart.
i love everything about you
maybe its just a bit unfair if im honest
but yeah .. i really do love you.

the next day, donghyuck finally go to school. his bandaged hand was shown as he found out that his hoodie is still wet. 'it's itchy' he thought. yeah, the cutting wound.

no trash were on his table and he just ignores it. he walked to his table and a student purposely make him stumble and fall. thankfully he fell on his body. he groaned in pain immediately as his body got a direct contact with the floor. the rest laughs, including mark. this person kicked him in the gut and the pain hits like hell. they continue to laugh at donghyuck as they mock and spit on him.

he finally able to stand up only to get pushed by another student and now, he uses his hand to support his weight and that didn't result in a good way. his hand got hurt, a hand sprain and what's more fucked up that it is his right hand. he tries to stand up as he hold the pain.

as the result, he didn't take note and quietly opened his phone to record what the teacher said.

"why are you not taking notes donghyuck ?" the teacher asked.
"im sorry, um .. i got a hand sprain earlier," donghyuck replied.
"have it got treatment ?" she asked. donghyuck shook his head, "its okay, i'll put on some medication later,"

she only smiled and continue to teach. again, mark is kinda worried seeing donghyuck's condition. if he's still with donghyuck, he'll insisted that donghyuck should go to the infirmary, so they could ditch class, but he can't do it anymore, because they are not friends anymore. correction, because he was not allowed.

the class is finally over. 'a few more hours, and i'll go to the hospital' donghyuck thought. he didn't treat his hand until lunch. as the bell rings, everyone was rushing out from class and donghyuck walked to the infirmary. the nurse sees him and looked worried.

"did you hurt-
"hand sprain, im not cutting myself yet." said donghyuck.
"leave out the yet, why ?" she asked.
"got pushed this morning and kicked." "and no one stops them ?" she asked.
"who wants to help this fag tho ?" said donghyuck. the nurse suddenly pressed his sprained hand.

"aa.. aahh, why did you do that. it hurts," donghyuck groaned in pain. "you don't see me here ? im helping you, i care about you." she said.
"okay, made a mental note." said donghyuck. she clicked her tongue and hit donghyuck. "oh come on, you should acknowledge me," she said.
"okay miss .." he said. "or ma'am ?" "god, do i look that old ?" she asked. donghyuck shook his head, "just the fact that you haven't married."

"oh my gosh," she laughed. "how-"
"okay imma stop, you're hurting me right now," said donghyuck. she realized that she gripped him hard and let it go. "oh, im sorry .." she looked panicked.

after putting a medication and wrap the hand with bandage, she gives donghyuck a banana that she brought from home. "thanks." said donghyuck. she smiled and they started to have some conversation.

the bell rings and donghyuck continue attending the classes. also he finally knew that June's gang got suspended because they were found smoking at the back of the school. not because of him. the school day ends and he immediately got out of the class to go to the hospital.

"mr. donghyuck," the nurse called. donghyuck stepped out and walked to the room. in result, he got some medication such as a few antidepressants, a sleeping pills, and a mental note to stop hurting himself because of mark, also another meeting schedule.

a few months passed and yeah, donghyuck's mind start to regret going to that doctor. he can't help but keep taking the pills, and he get quite rough on that. he always think that the pills will cure, because well .. he lost the people that loves him.

[a few days ago]
"donghyuck," his dad called. he's not drunk so its quite weird for donghyuck. "yes dad," he replied. he sighed. "im sorry to tell you this, but-" he stopped as he felt tears coming down slowly. "your mom,"

"m-mom.. ?" donghyuck got worried as he mentioned his mom in that state. he let out a sigh. "she's not here anymore."

upon hearing that, donghyuck felt like his heart were torn apart, yet no one could comfort him. "s-she died ..?" donghyuck still hope that miracle is still there but unfortunately, his dad nodded and all of the sudden, everything turns black. he collapsed. his father got worried and brought donghyuck to his room. he looked at his one and only son only to realize that he doesn't deserved to be called dad. he basically abandon him although they lived in the same roof. he cried as he grabbed donghyuck's hand.

now, donghyuck's mind is everywhere and he felt like shit. he go to school and keeps getting all of the mock, and what's worse is now mark is also doing it. it hurt him. he unfortunately break his promise with his mom that he start to cut himself again. sadly, worse.

"will it be better if i kill myself ?" donghyuck asked. "what did you say ?" the nurse asked. donghyuck just looked down and not saying anything. she approached donghyuck and hold his hand. "please don't. I beg you," she said. "you must value your life. you are precious donghyuck, please .. don't ever said that." she hugged donghyuck.

donghyuck smiled and pulled out. "im sorry, i suddenly got negative." he said. "no i won't do it, i still have the part of me that cherish myself," he said.

lies. how would the nurse believe this. the mood swing is obvious and yet she still thinks that he is okay. also, how would he cherish himself when his heart doesn't love him anymore. he got nothing left to fight for. everything is done.

he faked a smile and finally left the infirmary. only an empty hallway with him, until mark appeared.

"hey mark, its been a while," said donghyuck.
"don't talk to me," he replied coldly.
"im sorry-"
"just die. don't talk to me, you fucking fag." he said as he looked at donghyuck. oh how taken aback he is when seeing the unexpected reaction from donghyuck. he smiled. a genuine smile that mark used to see when they're friends, best friends. yeah, donghyuck smiled and walked away as he felt tears falling down.

"bye."

and how mark never thought that it is the last thing donghyuck will hear and its telling him to die.