One-shot Book! (Sanders Sides and more!)

Mistakes and Snakes

TW: self-loathing, crying, implications of rape, blood. Stay safe, loves!

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Logan was sitting in the kitchen of the Mindspace, idly reading Thomas Paine's pamphlet, Common Sense. He'd recently developed an obsession with the Revolutionary period, so it was only logical he'd read things akin to the topic. Patton, Roman, and Virgil were speaking softly to each other, about things Logan didn't know -nor cared- to learn. "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." The Logical Side accidentally whispered aloud. He froze shortly after, knowing his mistake when the table quieted.

Patton gasped. "Is it story time?" he squealed in awe. "Can you read to us?"

Logan's head shot up from the book in panic. The Sides were sitting together, though Virgil was slightly farther back than the rest. "I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood you." Logan set the pamphlet down, feeling jittery. Somehow, the prospect of reading in front of the others made him nervous. "You expect me to read this to you?"

Patton blinked, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. His eyes widened, bottom lip quivering pathetically. Against his better judgement, Logan wanted to sit next to Patton, discussing whatever troubled him and make sure that sorrowfully pleading expression never crossed his face again. "Please, Logan?"

"I don't think- I... It's boring, Patton. You won't like it." Patton shrugged and stared at Logan as though trying to persuade him through mind control. Well... even if Patton got bored, he could use this as a way to teach them.... "All right, fine."

As Logan relented, Patton leaned forwards in his excitement. The air smelled faintly of oranges and-even stranger- the brownies Patton had baked in celebration of when Logan had become a fundamental Side of Thomas. The memory filled him with inexplicable warmth. He remembered the wide smiles Roman and Patton had given him, the looks of admiration when Logan showed them his talents-Logan was getting off track. The table was silent, though there seemed to be a hum of anticipation in the air. Logan steeled his nerves and began to read.

"'Society is produced by our wants, and government by wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.

"'From the errors of other nations, let us learn wisdom,'" Logan continued. "Hold on, wait, what did all that mean?" Roman interrupted. Logan stared at him. He would usually make a comment on how dense Roman was, but the creative Side looked truly curious, so Logan let it go. "All it means is society as a general whole is more forgiving and lenient then the government might be. In this case, society is the Colonies during the 1770's, and the government is King George's rule." Roman nodded. "Continue, good sir," he said. Virgil rolled his eyes.

"'One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings, is, that nature disapproves it, otherwise, she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule by giving mankind an ass for a lion."

The table exploded with noise. "WOAH WOAH WOAH THAT IS NOT OKAY FOR PATTON'S EARS!" Virgil yelled. "PROTECT THE INNOCENCE!" Roman shouted. Patton was sitting between them looking very confused. "Guys, quit!" Logan raised his voice slightly, enough to shut everyone up. "It's an alternative word for a donkey!" Logan snapped in exasperation. "It's not meant that way!" As if Logan would ever say something like that around Patton. Didn't anyone use their brains? "Sorry," Virgil and Roman said in perfect accord. "Should I continue?" Logan asked, now back to his impassive, uncaring state. "Yes, please!" Patton said enthusiastically.