She Keeps Me Warm

Chapter 4

The next morning, I was still in shock from what happened the night before. I cannot believe that happened. When she awakened, she headed straight for the shower. Was she disgusted by what happened? Did I do something wrong? Was it too soon? I just brush off my thoughts as I cook breakfast for the both of us. Thankfully, for the both of us, Jesse had only cried a few times during the night, allowing us to get a good nights sleep. Well, maybe not good but it was decent.  I finish cooking the eggs and plate them. I add two pieces of toast to each of our plates. I sit at the counter and start to eat.

"Olivia." Amanda says behind and I jump slightly. I hadn't even noticed that the shower had turned off hours ago. Amanda sits at the counter next to me and smiles lightly at me. She's wearing a pair of light blue shorts and a black tank top.

"Liv?" She says my name again, trying to get my attention. I just pull my eyes away from her bare legs and meet her eyes.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Thanks for making breakfast." She says and gives a small smile. I give a fake smile back and then turn back to my food. I can't pretend like last night didn't happen. Maybe I can, but I won't. We eat in peace and then I take our plates to the sink. I rinse the dishes and then put them in the dishwasher. When I'm done, I see her sitting on the couch holding Jesse in her arms. I start to clean the living room as she watches the news. I can feel her eyes on my but I can't bring myself to look at her.

"So, can we talk?" I hear her say.

"Sure." I say putting random magazines back into the bin which they had been taken from.

"Can you like...actually listen?"she asks clearly annoyed that I hadn't stopped cleaning to pay attention to her.

"Sorry. I am listening." I say and sitting on the opposite side of the couch. "What's up?"

"I was thinking about moving into my own apartment. I appreciate how much you've helped us. Helped me." She pauses for a second and looks down at Jesse. "But I think I'm ready to do this on my own."

"You think you're ready to do this on your own? What exactly do you know about taking care of babies?" It was harsh but it needed to be said. I wasn't saying this just to spite her. I'm saying it, because it's true. She hasn't really been doing much for Jesse and when she did, it was because I had to tell her what to do.

"That's not true. I do know how to take care of her. I may have struggled in the begging but Im better not. She's my baby, not yours."

"I never said she was. I just don't think you're ready."

"Fuck you." She says in a harsh whisper. It was clear that she was mad but she didn't want to waked it Jesse up.

"Yeah. You did."

"That...was a mistake."

"Clearly." I say and walk into the kitchen to get away from her.

"I'm leaving. I cannot stay with you. You're fucking crazy. You cannot fucking control me." Amanda says getting up while holding Jesse in her arms. Jesse whines as her mother's voice raises.

"Amanda. No. I'm sorry. I do not want you to leave." I say. I'm not ready to loose her and hope she's not serious about this. There's no way she wants to leave. Not after last night.

"I don't want to stay! I can't." Amanda says and I see her arms start to shake.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm here. Don't cry." I say as I quickly rush over to her. I put my arm under her arms and help her hold onto Jesse. I hold them both in my arms. I can't let her leave. Not like this. She's broken now and doesn't stand a chance on her own.