Liberosis

The World Is Ours

After they finished their drinks, the girls hanged out in Rachel's room for a while to rest from their road trip. Rachel had taken pictures of the polaroids on her cellphone and posted them. To mention that she had received instant spam from Dana was an understatement. Meanwhile, laid flat on the bed, Chloe was listening to her playlist with eyes closed. She had called her mom earlier and was probably overwhelmed with the conversion, mentioning that her mother had been worrying until someone (Rachel) texted her. Joyce was a bit tired of her daughter not texting herself. At the end of the day, it didn't matter, they were both safe and together.

"Do you really believe in fate?" Chloe asked all of the sudden after the song 'Thoughts of a Dying Atheist' by Muse finished playing.

"Well..." Rachel paused. "I think everything happens for a reason, but at the same time, it's our decisions that shape our paths. So fate can be whatever you want it to be."

"What about external factors? Things out of our control?"

"There's no helping it. Simple as that." Rachel didn't really understand where Chloe was going with this, so she was just being blunt. Honest.

"Are we supposed to just accept it?

"What can we do with what's been done?"

"I..."

"Hey, how do you feel about going out for a ride?" Rachel prompted.

Chloe's state of mind wasn't really doing fine right now. Some fresh air should help, or at least Captain Cheese would say something like that. "Lead the way."

x-x-x

Rachel took Chloe to the top of Beachwood Drive. "Out." She wished could be less obvious of where she was taking her girlfriend, but you couldn't exactly hide a huge Hollywood sign. "Ready for a hike?"

"Yeah." Chloe smiled when Rachel held her hand and they walked tranquilly through the dirt. The weather wasn't hot anymore since Rachel had aimed to get to the Hollywood Sign by the golden hour. The wind created the perfect atmosphere to just relax, probably what they both needed after what felt like a long day.

Still, Chloe had a lot on her mind and lost track of time. She was extremely happy, she really was, but her system didn't know how to handle it. There was always something going on and this was a break from reality. Was it alright for her to feel this way when her father was gone? Being able to confront her dark nightmares of him had made her feel more content and nostalgic every time she thought about him instead of feeling like a fucking wreck, but she just really wished he was here.

Rachel felt Chloe squeeze her hand once they had reached the end of the trail. She believed she must've been astonished by the surreal view of the sun setting over the mountains, but when she turned to her, her eyes were watery.

"I just really miss him, Rach—" That was it. Chloe broke down in tears.

Instinctively, Rachel wrapped her arms around her girl and watched as the clouds slowly filled with color while Chloe's sky of emotions unfolded. The only other time she had seen Chloe cry was the day she found her lying on the ground with a gun on her hands. Rachel had tried her best to erase that image from her brain, but she simply couldn't help it. "Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you. Jean-Paul Sartre," she quoted while making circles on her girlfriend's back. "I don't have the answers you're looking for, Chloe. That's the harsh truth. But I'm here to stay and help you find them."

"I know, I know," Chloe sobbed. "It's just... I've found peace. But I don't know if I deserve to feel it. It doesn't make sense." Before her body could give up, she kneeled down and sat on the ground, looking far in the distance. "Tonight I had a dream. I was in the backseat of my dad's car. He was talking to someone, but it wasn't me. It was you. You were sitting right next to me, laughing about one of his jokes. You know, I've been living this great adventure with you and I hadn't realized how much I wish he could've met you. I wish I could tell him about you. I just hate that he died."