Liberosis

Head & Tails

"Rachel Dawn Amber, stop right there!" James snapped as he watched her walk away. "I damaged my relationship with Ray because of that girl!"

She turned around vividly. "It's Chloe and she didn't ask you to do it. It was me. Stop misplacing blame just because she won an argument."

"I'm not salty about the argument. I believed maybe she was what you needed. Now I think she's just using you!"

"Chloe would never--" Rachel stopped herself. It was helpless to explain her crush's selflessness, but the other way around... "Have you ever stopped and considered you are the problem? Yes, we caught you. But you and me were already distant. It was all polite. Chloe was only the trigger. Either way, I couldn't keep living a lie."

"I know I'm not perfect, but I have your best interests at heart. She's unfit."

"Oh, none of that nolle prossed bullshit," Rachel snapped. "Why can't you believe in someone? In change? Why won't you detach your work from your personality and be what's left?"

"Because I'm scared!" he broke. "I'm scared to lose you, scared sick you won't like the real me. I was scared of what just happened: You chose someone over me."

"Is there even a real you anymore?" she challenged, though she could sense some truth in his words. It had been the only time he didn't glance around to see if anyone was eavesdropping. "Is there someone to choose at this point? You make this so hard."

"And what is that?" James asked in a timid and tired voice, as if he had gone to a concert and sang his lungs out. She almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Saying goodbye." Rachel paused, thinking she should add more, but nothing sounded right. Her body had embraced the cold of the wind, though the sun had fully set. "I can't say I'm sorry. But I guess this is your official notice." Maybe the stars helped. "Farewell."

As her figure became smaller and smaller at his sight, his weak voice stopped her once again as a last ditch effort. "I love you."

Rachel sucked in a sniff and kept walking. It felt more like running. She didn't even hear the whispers on her way out or her uneven breaths. She didn't even wonder where her feet would take her.

x-x-x

"Nothing feels real anymore, I'm not taking my time anymore to show you how I feel..." she singsonged as she locked her front door. She noticed teardrops and dry stains on her face when she looked at her reflection in the mirror by the entrance.

As she made her way upstairs, she noticed her mom staring at her from the sofa. Suddenly, Rachel felt her legs wobble and she sat down, supporting herself with the railing. Rose came to her side and put her arm around her. Everything else just spilled out.

Later that night, her back was laid on her bed. She heard someone come in, not from the door, but through the open window. "Ugh, can I see your therapist?" Rachel asked, already knowing who it was.

"Conflict of interest." Chloe took her shoes off and sat on the corner of the bed, her legs bent. "Or something. You can always talk to me, though."

"I know." Rachel gave her the tiniest and cutest of smiles, already feeling better. "You should be careful sneaking in. I don't want you to fall."

"I just want you back where you came from." Her crushed grinned, proud of herself, not quite sensing her seriousness.

"Is everything a song quote to you?"

"Uh, no." Chloe suddenly shied away, thinking she said the wrong thing. "It's just... when I'm with you, I'm happy. Just like when I listen to music."