The Devil in Me

The Devil in Me Ch. 11

Chapter Eleven:

Shay:

I stared at my ceiling.

I wanted to have this profound feeling that made me sure I wanted to do what I was doing.

Instead, I felt conflicted.

What was a match anyway?

Someone compatible with bits of information that I gave them? I filled out a questionnaire, not some other profoundly personal checklist of things I was looking for in another person.

I'm not really sure it even matters at this point.

I clearly had a thing for Eileen's brother. It felt weird to think about it.

I didn't want to mess up the relationship that we had.

Eileen is a good person, and I was known to fuck up good things.

Maybe my match will be someone like him.

I knew that was wishful thinking. Right now, that was all I had in me.

I told myself I was going to stay in bed all day, and when it was time to go get the boys, I would go.

Part of me hoped that he would be there, but I knew that he wouldn't.

Unless he wanted to see me too.

That thought made my heart rate increase.

"Shut up," I had to say out loud to myself.

I was going to drive myself mad with all these thoughts.

I needed a drink.

I sat up to pull my phone out, I dialed Jody's number. I didn't have to look for her name, I knew her number by heart.

"Hello!" she answered right away.

"Jody!" I whined, "Help me."

She was silent for a minute.

"I didn't think we had that kind of relationship," she said.

"Bitch," I said, "I need a drink, not for you to send me nudes."

"I could do both," she said with a laugh.

"Are you busy?" I asked her.

"Just finishing up my last client," she said, "What do you want to drink?"

"I really don't care," I said, "I just need a drink."

"That kind of day?" she asked.

"No," I said, "I just need my brain to shut up."

"Did I miss something?" she asked.

"Sort of," I said, "If you want the details, you need to come over."

"I was going to head over there anyway," she said.

"I know," I stated, "I was going to tell you anyway."

"Good," she said, "I can be there in about an hour."

"Thank you," I said, "So much, and I love you."

She giggled, "I love you too."

She hung up.

I felt better, at least for now I knew that I would have a break. Even if it was a small one.

I'll know for sure what to do after I meet my match. I was nervous and excited all at the same time.