The Do's And Don'ts Of Falling In Love - Larry Stylinson

6: Dear Old Shiz

1. INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - DAY

SONG: I WANT - ONE DIRECTION

The auditorium is full of students. They're rehearsing a scene from the first act of Wicked. The scene takes place in a schoolyard outside of Shiz. All of them are in character. The director sits in the first row and gives orders. Briana - who plays Galinda, walks over to Louis on stage.

BRIANA: (as Galinda, casually flirty, batting her eyelashes) "Were you looking for something? Or..." (does a pose) "Someone?"

LOUIS: (as Fiyero, smirks) "Oh, yes." (holds up a piece of paper, pretends to read it briefly) "Some sort of...history class? Somewhere?"

CALUM: (as the character Boq) "Oh. That's the history building right there. But--"

BRIANA: (steps in front of Calum) "The class just ended."

LOUIS: "Oh, perfect timing then." (Briana nods, Calum rolls his eyes) "So, what does one do for fun around here?"

BRIANA: "Nothing. Until now."

CALUM: (moves possessively closer to Briana) "We've been studying."

LOUIS: "What!?" (sighs) "Well, I see that - once again - the responsibility to corrupt my fellow student falls... to me! Fortunately, I'm up for the task." (takes deep breath, starts singing) "The trouble with schools is they always try to teach the wrong lesson. Believe me, I've been kicked out of enough of them to know. They want you to become less callow - less shallow. But I say; why invite stress in? Stop studying strife, and learn to live 'The Unexamined Life'..."

DIRECTOR: (cuts the music) "Okay, cut! Everybody take five."

LOUIS: (to Briana) "Ugh, would you try to be at least a little bit in character?"

BRIANA: "I am!"

LOUIS: "You barely looked at me! You're supposed to be in love with me!"

BRIANA: "I'm trying!"

LOUIS: "Try harder then!"

Briana groans and stomps away. Calum walks up to Louis who's clearly not having the best day ever.

CALUM: "You good, mate?"

LOUIS: (snappy) "I'm fine."

CALUM: "You seem a little...tense."

LOUIS: "I'm not. I'm perfectly fine as you can see from the way I'm so clearly smiling right now." (does a fake grin for 0.2 seconds) "Obviously I'm having a great time."

CALUM: "What's bothering you?"

LOUIS: (sits down on the edge of the stage) "Nothing, nothing."

CALUM: (sighs, sits down next to him) "Do you want to talk about it?"

LOUIS: "No." (brief pause where it's silent) "Okay, so...here's the thing. It's not about me though."

CALUM: (confused) "Right."

LOUIS: "Right, so. There's this stupid thing that's been bothering me for a while. You see, there's this boy that's like the epitome of being clumsy. And like, not physically, well. That too, but mostly like the way he speaks and acts and stuff."

CALUM: "Okay..."

LOUIS: "And! There's this other boy who always has to watch the other one stumble and being clumsy and stuff and it bothers him, I can tell! As if that wasn't enough, the clumsy boy just happened to move in with the normal, super talented, hot boy. And! The clumsy boy literally can't handle hot-boy's jokes or teasing! So annoying."